Homily 8-9-26 Our God
                                          Isaiah 55:6
"Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while he is near."
Where is God? Is He in the breeeze blowing through the trees? Is He in the thunder of the storm? Is He in a babies laughter or a birds sweet song? Is He in the roar of a crowd or the cries of someone in pain? Do you feel Him walking beside you or does He seem far, far away? Do you ever feel uncertain about how He feels about you, why He allows bad things to happen in your life and what He wants? I have been struggling with these kinds of questions of late. I know He loves us all but when things go wrong it can be hard to hold onto that belief. Is He angry with me? What did I do to cause that? Is it so bad that He has abandoned me? Instead of the babies sweet laughter I am hearing the thunder from a storm. In today's first reading Elijah is expecting a scary God. Instead, however, he found the Lord amid soft whispers. What a comfort and relief that must have been. How many times in your life have you feared punishment or anger but recieved gentleness and love. A teacher I once had a story about something akin to that.. Mrs. Weed had taken her dad's car for a drive. She was a new at it and going a little fast when she wrecked and totaled the car. Naturally she was terrified that her dad would be very angry. She was wrong though. He was just grateful that she was ok.
Next I have a story that illustrates God's presence with a family during a crisis.
                                                 Jeremiah 29:13
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart."
                         "God's presence in season's of waiting"
We spend much of our lives waiting; waiting in line, waiting for a call, waiting for the laundry to finish, waiting for vacation to start, waiting for our favorite author to release a new book. Often waiting is just a mundane, if sometime  annoying, part of everyday life. Sometimes, however we enter into seasons of waiting that is anything but mundane. We find ourselves in a space that is painful and heartbreaking where we long for answers. In these places I have learned the hard way that even when resolution doesn't come as quickly as I want it to. I can find comfort knowing for certain God will meet us there.
   The day our lives changed:
On a sunny fall day in October 2020 my daughter and I were on our way to soccer practice when my car was hit by a truck. My daughter sustained a traumatic brain injury, was highflighter to the hospital and our family life changed in a heartbeat. We waited to here her diagnosis, to see if and when she would wake up. Would she talk, eat smile, laugh? What physical and mental abilities would or would not return? The wait inched along one day at a time.
She eventually woke up, smiled, sat up and began to communicate in her own silent way. We celebrated and rejoiced and cried happy tears but their were more questions, more waiting. Then she laughed and talked and read and gained  more and more cognitive and physical strength and ability. Still there were more questions and more waiting. In the most intense periods of waiting and my worls shrunk down to little more than the present moment. The unknown was too big and too difficult to contemplate. I desperately wanted to know what exactly we were waiting for and how long we would be waiting. If I had some clue what or when the end would be then the wait would be more bearable. God didn't answer my prayers with knowledge of the future or assurances of exactly what was to come. Instead God answered my prayers with His presence. As my husband and I sat in hospital rooms God met us in a way that was intangible, in rest we needed it in His indefinable presence in peace that truly passed all understanding. He also very notably mewho cleaned our house, took care of our son, mowed our lawn, brought us food, gas and parking passes. People who traveled long distances simply to sit with us in our grief and uncertainty. God met us through the kindness of strangers who spoke words of profound encouragement directly from the Holy Spirit. He met us through the gentleness and care of doctors and nurses, through the kindness of skilled therapists who played Eye of the Tiger, as hype music while she worked so hard because it is my daughters favorite. God  met us when we came home. He met us in school and in church, through the thoughtfullness and generosity of those who made sure we would have what we needed for a little girl who still needed extra support. I have learned in the waiting to take one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time.While our daughter has come a long way and the intense crisis has passed there is still a measure of waiting to see what the long time effects of the injury will be. When the waiting seems too much I remind myself of God's faithfulness and to seek His presence. by Amanda Waters
Sometimes the Bible can be a little confusing. In the old testament and even some parts of the new testament, particularly Revelations, we see an angry, vengeful God while in others we see the God Who loves us unconditionally. Maybe Elijahs expectation of an angry God is a lesson for us. I know in my heart that God wants our love not our fear otherwise He would not keep telling us to not be afraid. I personably don't believe that we can really really love as God wants us to while trembling in fear. I surely can't explain the angry God we see in scripture but someone very special, John Stack really cued me in to just how big our God is. He sees everything people go through and how they react. Sometimes even those who have done horrible things have triggars from their past that lead to their behavior. While we likely can't get past the bad stuff  God sees so much more  and the kind of love He has is beyond what we can possibly imagine.  So when I am walking through lifes challenges I guess I need to remind myself of that and not doubt that He intends good for me and all of us no matter how bad things get. Just something to think about.
                                            Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love Me and those who diligently seek Me will find Me."
How do you see God?