Sunday Homily 10-26-08, 30th, Ordinary Time

Readings:  Exodus 22, 20-26; Psalm 18; 1 Thessalonians 1, 5-10; Matthew 22, 34-40

Exodus: One of the great books of the Bible, the second book of the O.T.  The name  means 'departure' and refers to one of the most important event in Israel's history, the departure of the people of Israel from Egypt where they had become slaves after going there to escape drought in their own land.

Our selection has Yahweh speaking the law to the people as they wander around in the desert.

Choir 10-26

The Great Commandments

A priest in Chicago who is a psychologist and whom I admire, Andrew Greeley, tells the story of a woman who had three or four kids.  As she was bringing up the family she noticed that so many of the children around her were rebellious, disrespectful, lazy, and without discipline.  She determined that her kids would be respectful, active, and disciplined. 

She demanded they assume responsibility in the house for various chores, they had strict curfews and limits, and they were disciplined when they failed or were disobedient.  Time outs, privileges taken away, groundings, no TV, no cell phones, and so forth.  All were used to maintain discipline. 

The kids grew up, were successful, and all moved away.  Seldom did Mom hear from them.  One day when she was talking with her youngest, a girl, who was celebrating her birthday, the mom asked her why she and the others never kept in touch.  Had she not trained them all well for life and taught them discipline and integrity?  "Yes, Mom," the girl replied.  "But I never felt you loved us. I was a project."

Margie 1026

Matthew in today's gospel explains what the two greatest commandments are, love God & love your neighbor as yourself.  Over the years I have taken a psychological approach to these two, noting that there really are three.  The third command is implicit, love yourself.  My observation is that, first, loving myself is often the hardest, and second, it is the foundation of the other two.  Can't love God or anybody else very well if I hate myself.

Today, however, I would like to make some observations about two groups of people, the Pharisees and the neighbor.  This will give you an idea why the question of the Pharisees is important and a trap. 

About the Pharisees, a rather crazy group of people not even absent from our own times.  The word means 'separate.'  The Pharisees saw themselves as separate and so did the people.  They were separate because they obsessively and rigidly observed the law. 

Their goal was to win Yahweh's favor by being perfect and at the same time act as an example of righteousness to the people. 

Their road map was the law.  Guess what the law meant for the Jew of this time.  First, there were 613 commandments, then 365 prohibitions (one for every day of the week), and finally, 268 prescriptions.  Total: over 1200 rules for behavior, and the reading from Exodus provides some examples.  The Pharisees studied and meditated on these laws.  The poor people, the people who had to work could never hope to focus on all these laws, which is why the Pharisees were mostly rich and, therefore, separate from the people and in their eyes superior to the people.

The pharisees' struggle: are all laws equal because they all come from Yahweh, or are some more important than others.  It was this question they studied, meditated upon, and argued over.  Which leads us to today's encounter with Jesus. They are trying to trap Jesus, make him choose one of these 1,200 laws.  He sidesteps the trap and pronounces the two laws which sum up all the laws. 

The sad side of the pharisees' life style is that they are obsessed, and that is just unhealthy.  Religious obsession can be as harmful to your health as drugging, drinking, or smoking.  They have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder.  Love is minimal here.  In fact, fear is probably the motivator.  Whatever, the relationship is between God and the law observer is not the standard that Jesus is suggesting.

Which leads to the neighbor, the person I am challenged to love as I love myself.  Two observations.

First, there are two groups of my neighbors, immediate and remote.  The immediate neighbor is my family member, my village neighbor, the people I encounter daily or regularly. 

The remote neighbor is the alien mentioned in the the Exodus reading, the kid being made to be a soldier in Darfur, the mother in Guatemala, our mother & daughter in Cuernavaca, Mexico, the sick who come to CCAC.  I would even suggest that the pharisee is my neighbor. 

Secondly, while Jesus says that I am challenged to love my neighbor as myself in this setting, in another place he raises the stakes.  He says to love my neighbor as "I have loved you."  Pretty lofty demand.  Infinite demand, infinite acceptance. 

Communion 10-26

I am convinced that loving a god we cannot see or touch, if that is possible, is built on loving others, which is built on loving myself, something the sad, obsessed pharisee cannot do.  Thank God that none of you are pharisees, or you would not be here.  However, we can follow the footsteps of the mother who failed to show how much she loved her kids. 

As we head into a marvelous time of our year, Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas, we begin with Halloween this week.  How are you showing your neighbor your love?

AUDIO:  http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2008-10-26.mp3

Picture 1: Wendy, Ray, & Celeste

Picture 2: Margie Duggan

Picture 3: Roseamry & Tom Fleming, Rob & Beth Robinson

 

 

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    2 Kings, 5, 14-17,    Naaman went down and plunged into the Jordan 7 times  (amusing what has been left out leading up to this passage).

    Psalm 85,  The Lord has revealed to the Nations his saving power.

    2 Timothy  2, 8-13 ,  If we persevere, we shall also reign with him.

     Luke 17, 11–19,   Of ten lepers healed only one returned to give thanks.

     

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    2 Kings observations:

    Time of the events: 900 B.C.

    Time when written: 555 B.C., during the Babylonian captivity.

    Subject of 1 Kings: This book continues the history of the kings taking up with the death of King David and continuing through the story of David & Bathsheba's son Solomon.  He builds the famous Temple of Solomon.  After his death the nation divides into the northern & southern states, Israel in the north, Judah in the south (including Jerusalem; remember by the "J's").

     

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    I cannot believe you, too, My Dearest Genevieve, are asleep. 

     

    Subject of 2 Kings: This book continues the history of the decline of the two states until Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon defeats the people, 555 before Christ. 

    Subject of our chapter 5: one of the generals of the Syrian-Babylonian army goes to visit the prophet of the day, Elisha.  Naaman, the general, has leprosy.  Note the twist of the story at the end.  Thanks is a theme of this selection and it sets the stage for Luke's story about gratitude. Three characters: Naaman, his little slave girl, and Elisha.  Read the story before this to understand the meaning of what is taking place.  I will summarize it at Mass.

     

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    I think, My Dearest Tori, that you are looking to scare me.

     

    Mike Miller and Thanks

    This morning I would like to talk about how giving thanks is a learned behavior and one I learned from my mother when I got ordained.

    First, however, I would like to talk about Mike Miller.  Yesterday morning we had a delightful memorial for Mike at Dickey’s Funeral Home here in Plano.  As you can imagine, I took an hour to get through this memorial.  I spent a lot of time just trying to get a few words out. 

     

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    I talked about 3 memories. 

    First, when I really got to know Mike.  Guess where.  The Collin County Adult Clinic, which our community supported financially for some years.  Mike was the head of the pharmacy department at the clinic.  I would visit him now and then because the pharmacy was a quiet oasis in a crazy busy clinic.  It was often triage time and enormous numbers of people would receive treatment in about 3-4 hours every Thursday evening.

    Secondly, remember when Rosemary & I would have our annual anniversary party in May?  Not only would we renew our vows, but we invited people who were celebrating special anniversaries, like 25 or 40 or 65 years, even 1 year.

    One year Mike and Dee renewed their vows.  Dee said to Mike that after all these years, when Mike walked into the room she was just thrilled like the first time.  That so touched me.  It touched even more a friend of mine named Julie.  She was in tears and still talks about it.

     

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    Finally, a third thing.  Do you people realize that Mike and Dee almost always were holding hands during our Masses?   I ask Rosemary to do the same thing, and you know what she says. 

    I give thanks for Mike in my life and in our community life. 

     

    Mem 1
     

    Mike Miller's memorial, Saturday, Michael, his son, sharing beautiful memories. 

     

    Now, giving thanks.  A learned behavior.

    When I got ordained in June of 1971 at St. Rita’s in Dallas, I received a number of gifts.   I remember wondering how I was going to thank all these people and I remember my mother being adamant. “You send them a note.”  That seemed pretty daunting to me because this was pre-email, maybe even pre-electricity.  I had to send by mail all these thank you notes.  My mom: “You always thank people.” 

    Twelve years ago when we began this community and you people began to generously support the program.  I was stunned.  And I heard my mom, “Always thank people.”  This is why every Sunday afternoon I aim to get you a thank you note for your generosity.  My Momma told me. 

     

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    "Welcome in, Everybody," sez Crazy Patricia.

     

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    1 Samuel 2, 7-9, 12-13, 22-23,   I would not harm the Lord's anointed.  

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    The last 2 books, 1 & 2 Kings, describe the beautiful times of Solomon and the building of the temple.  The final book of the 4 describes the bad ways of the people which lead to the bad days of the Babylonian captivity.

    Estimated time of composition, ca, 555, during the Babylonian Captivity.

     

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    Homily, February 24

    When I was studying  theology in Toronto from ’68-’72, the fall of my second year we had to take a course in moral theology.  We were part of a consortium of seminarians.  We Jesuits were the biggest group with ca. 40 guys.  There were probably 6-8 other groups, even some individuals.   All guys.

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    The fall of my second year our class had to take a course in moral theology.   Fundamentally it was how to administer the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession, plus other moral questions.  For example, like torture, capital punishment, abortion.

    The professor of this rather large class was a young Jesuit priest just graduated from Harvard, named Bryan.  I honestly don’t remember his last name.  Bryan was sharp, liberal, and not blessed with public relations skills. 

     

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    Bryan put off the majority of the class and a group even came to complain to him.  What did Bryan do?  He told them if they did not like him or his presentations, they could go somewhere else.  He did this with more blunt language than I use here.  So all these guys boycotted his class.

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  • Sunday Homily 1-2-11, Epiphany

    Readings: Isaiah 60, 1-6; Psalm 72, Lord, Every Nation on Earth will Adore You; Ephesians 3, 2-6; Matthew 2, 1-12

     Isaiah 60: 3 observations–

    1.  This is Isaiah III who seems to have lived around the time of the Babylonian Captivity, i.e., 575 BCE., not at the time of Isaiah I (chapters 1-39) who lived ca. 800.   (& Is. II, chapters 40-50)

    2.  Our passage from chapter 60 is addressed to Jerusalem as a symbol, which is in total destruction.          

    3.  Isaiah is saying that your day is coming, Jerusalem, when you will return to being the most splendid city of all.

    Emma 1-2-11 
     

    Epiphany, The Coming of the Wise Men on January 6: 3 observations–

    1.  The word means an enlightenment, a WOW moment.

    2.  Celebrated since ca. 300 & Constantine on January 6, 12 days from the birth, the 12 Days of Christmas.  Note 12th Night.

    3.  Considered a second Christmas, to the Gentiles.

     

    The Epiphany, a Cornucopia of Symbols: 2 observations–

    Where to begin, folks.  There is so much symbolism in this liturgy, in Matthew, for sure, and in the combination of Matthew with Isaiah and Psalm 72.  I'll touch 2 symbols, each with 3 subdivisions..         

    1.  The Wise Men have a double & triple significance because they are

    a. Gentiles

    b.  They come from the east, considered the source of wisdom in the world of that time.  Where does the sun rise?  Where do stars rise?  A new son has been born and like the sun in the east or a star he will bring new light. 

    c.  They also symbolize every man’s search for meaning in life.    Remember Matthew speaks to two audiences, his fellow Israelites, whom he is chastising for not searching, and the Gentiles. 

    2.  The 3 gifts. 

     a.  Gold is given because it signifies royalty. 

     b.  Frankincense, or incense, signifies divinity. 

     c.  Myrra signifies medicine.  Myrra is for the human.  It comes from a bush like tree that has a yellow, sticky sap on its bark.  The sap was good for skin infections and acne, asthma, colds, and flu, and even herpes.  It is found in Saudi Arabia & Somalia.

     Holcombs 1-2-11

    A post script.  People in Europe used to write an inscription over their doors, e.g. 20+C+M+B+10.  The numbers are our year.  The letters are Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar.   Christians made it say, “Christ Bless our house or Maison the year listed.  

     Another post script.  In New Orleans Epiphany starts Carnival season, which leads up to Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday before Ash Wednesday.  The parades will be starting, folks.

     Sources: Reginal Fuller, St. Louis U. Liturgy; Biblical & Theological Resources, the Voice Institute, on line; Wikipedia; and other sources.

     Dinsmores 1-2-11

    The Epiphanies around Us

     Recently Rosemary & I went to the exposition of some paintings of about six or eight artists. Among the artists and the reason we were there was my childhood buddy Ed Lamberty, who gave the homily here a year or so ago on alcoholism & AA. 

     As we were wandering around we ran into another couple who are old friends.  We ask what brought them to this exposition.  They pointed across the room to a middle aged,  middle class, blondish woman who was standing by some of her works.

     Here is the story the wife told me.

     The couple we know are both academics on the university level.  Some years ago the wife had been teaching and came to know one of her students.  The student was a mother with a son about 8 years old.  At some point in time the father had abandoned them and left them with nothing.  They were living in the mother’s car. 

     My friend says to me that this shocked her and she thought this cannot continue.  She described the situation to her husband and two sons who were about 10 & 12.  Guess what they did.

     They invited the mother & son to live with them until they got on their feet.  The two sons moved into one bedroom and the mother & her son took the other.  Here they lived for almost a year until the husband found the woman a job. 

    Offertory 1-2-11 

     The woman now is successful and is developing as an artist, selling her works for significant sums.  The son graduated from Jesuit, graduated from college, and now is married with a couple of his own kids. 

     Obvious from the fact that they were at the art exposition, my friends are still quite close with the mother & her son. 

     I would propose that this is what epiphany is, a pointing to a presence among us and in us.  The presence is acceptance and care for others.  It points to something beautiful.

     Who is an epiphany for you?

     For whom are you an epiphany?

     Picture 1:    Emma 

     Picture 2:    Diane on her birthday with Jenny & Melissa

     Picture 3:    The Dinsmore family, David & Donna & their kids, Dawson, Darbianna, & Dana

     Picture 4:    Emily & her mom, Julie at the Offertory  

     

     

     

  • Sunday Homily 1-3-10, Epiphany (Magi Visit)

    Readings: Isaiah 60, 1-6; Psalm 72, Lord, Every Nation on Earth will adore You; Ephesians 3, 2-6; Matthew 2, 1-12.

     

    Isaiah 60: author, date, subject

     

    Author: 3 Isaiah (responsible for chapters 55-66)

     

    Date: ca. 400, after the Babylonian Captivity, ended ca. 550

     

    Subject: lines such as, Rise up in splendor, the glory of the Lord shines, people from the east will come with gold & frankincense.

     

    source: John Shelby Spong

     

    Mass begins 1-3-10

     

    The Great Debate: Myth vs Fact

     

    I have just had an epiphany event in my life.  I was visited by an old friend, a wise friend, maybe a wise guy friend.  He says, "Stack, you are a fraud."  You folks have known this all along.  He says that the homily I gave before Christmas on the Partridge in a Pear Tree was not true.  Sorry to have to tell you this.  The history was wako, did not happen.  As you can imagine, I was quite deflated, but figured he was right because he is more of a researcher than I. 

     

    So, folks, the old geezer fraud fesses up this morning.  I confess that I did not do any research on the subject.  Somebody sent it to me a few years ago, and I did not even save the name of the sender. 

     

    Kevin 1-3-10

     

    So, using my friend's research and my own, I discovered that maybe the symbols were connected to the old Christmas carol ca. 1990.  Apparently nobody knows.  It was pointed out that these symbols did not need to be secret because of persecution.  The Elizabethan protestants shared most of the same symbols.  No secret needed.  Plus the carol may have come from France.  So, everyone, erase that homily and the history I gave you.  I blew that one. 

     

    It struck me in the midst of this, could we be witnessing the creation of a myth?  100 years from now how many people will believe the version that I presented?  Could this be an example of what took place in the bible?  You have certainly heard that biblical scholars have determined that the nativity stories are the result of literary liberties taken by Luke & Matthew, not factual history.  I can give you two simple examples.

     

    Eshelbrenner 1-3-10

     

    First, Bethlehem.  It is thought that Jesus was really born in Nazareth.  But Luke & Matthew, the only writers dealing with the nativity, wanted to connect Jesus with King David.  David was born in Bethlehem.  It is pointed out that it is a long way from Nazareth to Bethlehem, it was winter, and Mary was pregnant.  A woman researcher commented, "Only a man would imagine such a journey possible for a pregnant woman."

     

     

    Why were people going to Bethlehem?  To be counted in a census of all the descendents of David.  David lived a 1000 years earlier, had many wives and mistresses.  His offspring would have numbered in at least the thousands.  No wonder there was no room.  And imagine how skitzy Herod would be with these thousands of potentially hostile subjects just a few miles from Jerusalem.

     

    Why did the writers use such literary liberties?  They want to show that Jesus was special, he was the figure 1 Isaiah predicted, the God-hero, the wonder worker, the Prince of Peace.  They had heard so much about the adult Jesus that they wanted to make his birth a God-hero event.  So, connect him with the Great King David.

     

    Finally, secondly, there is one small but significant mistranslation.  In Isaiah 7, 14, it is said, "A young woman will have a child."  Matthew, most likely intentionally to craft his point, mistranslates the word young woman as virgin, and says 'a virgin will become pregnant' (1, 23).  And so it has come down. 

       

    There are three ways to respond to these studies.  One is to say, "No problem, God can do all that stuff.  He's all powerful."   The trouble with this is that the evidence is becoming overwhelming.  Like still saying the earth is flat.

     

    Or I can simply toss out the whole and stay home.

     

    A middle ground could be to recognize that literary liberties have been used.  And still celebrate the event.  The event, the Prince of Peace gives me peace and gives me a longing to share the peace. 

     

     

    Chloe 1-3-10

     

    I goofed up by not researching the Partridge in a Pear Tree.  Sorry about that.  What we may be seeing here is a myth process similar to the biblical stories.  Myth or fact?  How can I be an educated, intelligent Christian?

     

    What do you think about all this?  What do you feel about it?

     

    Sources: John Shelby Spong; Harvey Cox, Future of Faith; Catholic Encyclopedia on line; Snopes

     

     

    Picture 1:  Epiphany Celebration begins

     

    Picture 2:  Mass with Kevin helping

     

    Picture 3:  35th Anniversary, Carol & Richard 

     

    Picture 4:  Chloe dances (see video)

     


     

     

  • Homily for January 7, 2007 – The Epiphany

    Readings: Isaiah 60, 1-6; Psalm 72; Ephesians 3, 2-6; Matthew 2, 1-12.

    Isaiah

    When you hear the writer of Isaiah say this morning, “Jerusalem, Rise up in Splendor,” think of Tony Romo, who just lost that game last night.  He & all Cowboy fans are depressed this morning.  Tony is Jerusalem and Yahweh is telling him that his day has really come, that he will win.

    The Jews are depressed because they have been defeated by the Babylonians.  Their whole town has been defeated and they are captives, paying for their sinful ways.  The Isaiah writer is saying to the Jewish people, and by extension to all of us, winning is on the horizon. 

    For us Christians, we are looking back and saying we have won, won redemption with the arrival of our savior.

     

    Ephesians

    Paul writes to the people Ephesian people to let them know that God’s plan for redemption includes the Gentiles, not just the Jews.  In the gospel the magi come.  They, as Gentiles, represent us non-Jews.

     

    The Three Gifts

    A week ago Saturday Rosemary & I arrived by bus at one of the most beautiful colonial towns in southern Mexico, Oaxaca. The town has had trouble since the summer and especially in November.  Teachers went on strike during the summer and when the government seemed to attack them aggressively, a spark ignited a broader based demonstration.  As a result tourism, the life blood of many in the town especially around Christmas, was wiped out.  No one came, except Rosemary & me & a few other hearty souls.

    The evening we arrived we went down to the town square, a jewel with giant shade trees, sidewalk cafes on three sides, Christmas lights, kids, families, balloons, perfect weather, and a beautiful gazebo in the middle. A band was playing at the gazebo. Lined up in front of the band were a hundred or so chairs. People were dancing. We danced. It was enchanting. At one point as we stood listening to the music, a woman walked up to us and said in English, “Thank you for coming to Oaxaca this year.”

    I was stunned almost into silence and struck by two things.

    First, that she came forward and thanked us. The gift of thanks again.

    Secondly, that our presence was a gift to her and the people. 

    This is what the three kings did. They came, they shared their presence and each shared a special gift, gold, frankincense, & myrrh.

    I would suggest that we, too, are challenged to present ourselves to others with our special gifts.  What are the gifts? 

    I think our presence in that magical town square brought at least support & encouragement.  If I ask myself what I want to give to another it is peace, acceptance, and fun.

    What special gifts do you want to give to your people? (Please feel free to post a comment answering the question.)

     

    Special Thanks:

     

    For reading, Jean Atwood & Scott Shaw

    For the Altar Bread, Ray & Claire Occhipinti

    For Serving, Carmen & Ashley

    For the Altar & donuts, Margie Dugan & Jackie Ritter

    For the Books & Communion Cups, Roy & Carol Strom, & Beth Robinson                        

    For ushering & all sorts of jobs, Cliff Wright

    For the music, Ray & Shonda, Roy, Hue, Rick & Jackie

    Download the homily as an mp3 file.

  • Sunday Homily 5-13-12, 6th Easter

    Readings:

    Acts 10, 25-26, 34-35, 44-48, God shows no partiality;

    Psalm 98, The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power;

    1 John 4, 7-10, Let us love one another; 

    John 15, 9-17, I have told you this so my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.

    Candle lighting 5-13-12

    Cole lighting our Easter Candle with his dad, Chuck

     

    An introduction to today’s readings.  We continue reading in Acts. It’s called Acts of the Apostles, but only Peter and Paul are given any space. John is mentioned only 3 times, and for James only his execution by the Emperor Herod is mentioned. So it is more properly Some Acts of Some Apostles.

    As Stack said before, we’re pretty sure that Acts was written by Luke who is also the author of the third Gospel. Luke was a Gentile (non-Jewish) from Antioch in Syria, and was a companion of Paul in his travels around Asia Minor, from Antioch, around through Greece, and to Rome. We know Luke was with Paul in Rome when Paul was in prison. Acts was probably written around the time Paul was put to death during his second imprisonment under the Emperor Nero in 64 or perhaps 66 CE.

    Our Joanie 5-13-12

    Our Joanie with Erin

    The other readings are from the First Letter of John and the fourth Gospel. Traditionally 4 books of the New Testament were attributed to John the Apostle: the 4th Gospel, 3 letters and the Book of Revelation. Scholars say that the vocabulary, grammar and style of writing make it unlikely that Book of Revelation was written by the same person responsible for the 4th Gospel. Some modern Bible scholars raise the possibility that John the Apostle, John the Evangelist who wrote the Gospel and John of Patmos who wrote the Book of Revelation were 3 separate individuals. The First Letter of John reads like a summary of the 4th Gospel teachings, and the time of writing is probably similar, in the latter part of first century, sometime between 80-100 CE. 

     

    John's Blessing 5-13-12

    John Blessing all females

    Homily

    Today’s readings really speak for themselves.  That they happened to fall on Mother’s Day is serendipitous. In Acts we heard that the Good News is for everyone, without exception: “God shows no partiality.”

    The Gospel told us what the Good News is: that God is love and is always with us, without exception. “Remain in my love”….”I tell you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy might be full”….“I call you friends.” 

    Ryan's Blessing 5-13-12

    Ryan & Jim sharing their blessings

    And the Letter of John gave us the call to respond to the Good News: “Let us love one another…everyone who loves is of God…”  

    On Mother’s Day we get to express love and gratitude in a special way for our mothers. Personally, I have never known a Mother who was not doing the very best she knew how. Not everyone, however, gets to have a Mother who consistently protects them, consistently nurtures and teaches them, and consistently loves them as they wish and deserve.  All mothers are somewhere on the continuum of consistency as mothers. All mothers I have known aspire to be good mothers, and good mothers aspire to be even better mothers. Some mothers were actually Aunts or Grandmothers or adoptive mothers. My mother’s mother died giving birth. So my mother’s mother was actually her Aunt Molly.

    Torri Blessed 5-13-12

    Torri, along with her mom & grandmom, being blessed

    I think one of the reasons Mary, the Mother of Jesus, has received such honor and devotion from us down through the centuries is that, without knowing much about her life, we could easily project on to her an ideal of mothering for us to aspire to. I love it that we can do that today for all our mothers. Mothers aren’t perfect and don’t have to be perfect. We honor our mothers for protecting us, nurturing us, teaching us, and loving us as best they can or could.

    My mother, a Methodist of Scotch-Irish descent, immigrated as a young woman from Mississippi to Louisiana in the 1920’s, to teach school in a very small town that was totally Cajun and Catholic. She left everything she knew and moved to live in a ‘foreign’ culture. There she met my father. They fell in love and married. My mother never felt fully accepted by all his family—remember this was 4 generations ago, when Catholics considered themselves the only true believers—everyone else was suspect. She of course had to promise that all her children would be raised Catholic. When my parents’ second child was born, a son, he died right after birth. My Mother was in a hospital in Abbeville where I later grew up, and my father was 10 miles away in the country, where they lived at that time on my grandparent’s plantation.

    My father’s sisters apparently told him that my mother wouldn’t want anyone going to the hospital at this time; that she needed time alone before she came home. When I was about 21 my mother confided in me that story, and she finished telling it with the words, “I never forgot it, and I never forgave him.” I share this story, even though it carries her pain, because of what else it told me about her: that even though my mother and father did not have a close/intimate relationship and their married life was a struggle, she was totally dedicated to our family and to being the best mother she could be for us 5 children. And her life was a testament to that.

     

     

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    Jessica, daughter of John & Connie, brother, Kevin, & sister, Renee

    We do not get to choose our mothers. But today we get to honor them. However consistent they have been in protecting, nurturing and loving us, we honor all mothers today. We honor them for their dedication, and for their struggles, and for their efforts at mothering us the very best way they know how (or knew how).

     

    The questions I have for us are: whoever mothered us, do we know and appreciate how she was mothered? What was her joy, and what was her pain and her struggle? And how do we honor that in our own lives?

     

    John & Jessica 5-13-12

    John escorting Bressica, Thompson, CT, near Boston