Sunday Homily 10-9-11, 28th Ordinary Time

 Readings:  Isaiah 25, 6-10 (fun reading about the next life); Psalm 23, I shall live in the House of the Lord all the days of my life (Psalm of consolation); Philippians 4, 12-20; Matthew 22, 1-14, The king throws a wedding feast.

Isaiah:  This is Isaiah I, a great reading.

Psalm 23:

Number of Psalms: There are 150 psalms, which are religious songs.

Authorship: Jews, Muslims and Christians for centuries considered King David to be the author.  73 psalms use his name.  Today, however, scripture scholars know numerous authors composed the psalms and they were passed down ca. 500 years in an oral, sung form before they began to be written down ca. 600 B.C.E.  King David lived ca. 1000 B.C.E.

 Beginning 10-9-11

Life is a Banquet

I had a Jesuit friend named Tom Barbarito who was in the class behind me.  Italian.  About 5 feet 5, like 5 by 5. Quite rotund in his early years.  No way athletic.  In fact would shudder at the prospect of exercise or physical work.  Intelligent and very amusing mostly at his own expense.  He was pastor of St. Rita for many years. 

Our selection from Isaiah 1 about the banquet was his favorite reading of all time.  He loved to eat.  We used to have what were called first class feasts in the early years of my Jesuit life.  These were special meals on Christmas, Easter, and church holidays.  The meals were excellent Cajun cuisine put together by our cajun cooks from southwest LA, Opelousas & Lafayette.  And Tom was from New Orleans, as were many in the classes those days.  We got to talk in the refectory on the occasion of these meals, all 150 of us.

Lorynne & Lacee 10-9-11 

I can still picture Tom squaring off for one of these meals, his white cloth napkin tucked into the collar of his cassock European style, getting elbow room, and proclaiming that he was ready.  He used to declare that he could not wait for the heavenly banquet referred to here in Isaiah.  Today Tom is enjoying that banquet because he died maybe ten years ago with a brain tumor.  And he died skinny, so he now may eat all his favorite foods without guilt. 

I think of Tom whenever this reading comes up.  Our readings today are so Tom Barbarito, eating, feasting, enjoying the cup running over.  Besides that,  we got the king throwing a wedding banquet and getting mad because the invited did not come.  Then one guy gets kicked out for not having a wedding garment on.  What is going on?   Three observations.

Sienna 10-9-11 

First, remember for whom Matthew is writing.  He has an agenda when he puts parables into his work.  Initially he writes to warn the Jewish people about how they are losing it in not recognizing Jesus.  But equally he is addressing the Gentiles, letting them know that Jesus welcomes them also.

As in all parables, check out the symbolism of the gospel.  Obviously the king is Yahweh.  Who else?  Who are the invited to the wedding feast?  The Jews?  Who are the good & bad street people? 

Robyn & Erin 10-9-11 

Second observation, we are invited.   There is a banquet out there, a feast on a mountain top, a feast of rich food and choice wine.  Tex Mex & Blue Bell?  We are invited, despite the fact that we are the street people.  In fact, I would propose that we are all street people, bad and good, Gentile and Jew. 

The third observation is that the banquet on the mountain top, the marriage feast is taking place today.  I can be tempted to think the feast takes place in the next life.  In fact, I think a lot of poor people and slaves were fed this nonsense so they would not try to fight back against oppression.  Everyday is a banquet.

Wendy 10-9-11 

A final post script: what about the poor guy without the wedding garment?  He gets treated pretty harshly, especially so after the king invites all the street people in, both good and bad. 

To attempt an understanding, I think we go back to the symbolism which is the currency of parables.  What could he symbolize?  What is the wedding garment symbolizing?  Gratitude?  Or cynicism?   Maybe he was not grateful, but was critical and cynical, thinking he was entitled to all this, the attitude that seems to be so prevalent in our contemporary culture.  Consequently, the man was not thrown out.  His ingratitude never allows him in.  We can be the man without the wedding garment.

Jean & Jack 10-9-11 

My friend Tom Barberito I am sure is enjoying his wedding banquet in the next life.  We are invited to enjoy the banquet today with gratitude.

 On the 1 to 10 scale, where is your gratitude, where is your cynicism?

Picture 1:    Mass begins

Picture 2:    Lorynne & Lacee with their grandmother, Marilyn

Picture 3:    Sienna

Picture 4:    Robyn & Erin

Picture 5:    Wendy

Picture 6:    Jean & Jack, Wendy's parents  

  

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  • Sunday Homily 5-3-09, 4th Easter

    Readings: Acts 4, 8-12; Psalm 118, The stone rejected by the builders has become the corner stone; 1 John 3, 1-2; John 10, 11-18, The Good Shepherd 

    Mass 5-3-09

    Acts:  A review–

    Date: ca. 70-100 A.D.

    Author: Luke, who wrote both the Gospel and Acts

    Setting:  Just like the last 2 Sundays, Peter & John have just healed a lame man outside of the temple gate.  The people rush to question them.  They say it happened because of God's power and that Jesus was raised from the dead.  The high priests hear about this and have them arrested.  After telling them to stop saying Jesus was raised from the dead, the two are released.

    Our Selection: last week we read Peter's discourse to the local believers in a room.  The week before we read about the quality of life of the local believers, communal.  Today's account is Peter talking to the high priests and elders of the high court.  They are on trial.

    Choir 5-3-09

    John:

    Date of Gospel: A.D. 85-95

    Author: scholars have doubts that the Apostle John is the writer of the 3 works attributed to John, the Gospel, 3 letters, & Revelation.  Doubts exist even that one writer composed all the works.

    The Shepherd Who lays down His Life

    Back in the beautiful old days of St. Mark's, during the time when Duffy was our super hospitable pastor, Rita was the housekeeper and the to die for cook, and we had a fun staff with priests like Dean Pratt & Fr. Rudy, we had three marvelous deacons, Arnold Pichon, Mike Carroll, and Bob Scoggins. 

    I had the privilege to get to know Arnold especially well when he started out as a novice deacon.  For years we did the Hispanic Mass in the cafetorium at 9:00.  I watched him move from being a rather nervous homilist to being a confident, caring deacon as the years went by.  He was faithful to the community.  He gave his heart to those people and so far as I understand, he still does.  Every Sunday and days in between, whoever the priest is who shows up.

    Everybody at St. Marks knew Mike Carroll.  Not only did he tell numerous smaltzie stories in his homilies, standing right down at the base of the altar like I loved to do.  He also made good points and he was always there.  I would arrive for evening penitential services during Lent & Advent.  Who was running the services?  He also dedicated his heart to the people and in particular to the kids in formation programs.

    Finally there was Bob Scoggins, whom I love just as much as Arnold and Mike.  Scoggins was always at the 10:30 cafetorium Mass, and from the beginning I admired him for something special.  Bob's wife Trula had MS.  When I started saying the 10:30, Trula was always there in a wheel chair or some kind of conveyance.

    The years went on and suddenly it dawned upon me that Trula was not there.  I asked Bob about it and he said Trula had deteriorated and could not get out of bed for long.  I suggested he simply bring her and she could lie on a bed near or on the stage while we had the Mass.  Bob, however, thought it would be too hard & embarrassing for her.

    Sometime after that, Trula went on to her reward.  Then, every time Bob gave a homily he would end up in tears talking about Trula's example.  It continued so long that finally I used to tell him before the Mass, "Okay, Scoggins, no tears today!."  Slightly preposterous of me, who deals with tears often enough.  A lot of good it did.  More tears always came.  Finally, somewhere in those golden days, Bob went to stay with Trula.  He gave his heart to the people of St. Mark's and to Trula. 

    Our Father 5-3-09

    I was reminded of these terrific guys because we are reading in John about the Good Shepherd who lays down his life.  Scoggins was a Good Shepherd and laid down his life, his whole heart for Trula and the people.

    Arnold and Mike are Good Shepherds.  They are still pouring out their hearts and their lives for the people.  It don't get better than these guys.

    You might think, "Well, nice, but I don't see anybody else besides these deacons.  Plus, that is their job."  Look around some more.  Try Julia Grenier who started the Collin County Adult Clinic.  Try Rita Dore who played such a marvelously hospitable compliment to Duffy and who baby sat The Man through so much.  She was there in the background, but likewise playing the role of The Good Shepherd, pouring out her heart & her life for us guys.

    My old coach, teacher, and Scout Master at Christ the King was a Good Shepherd to me.  Frank Hart.  He gave me his life. 

    The Ekes 5-3-09  

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            1.  Who is your model for The Good Shepherd?

            2.  How are You a Good Shepherd?

    AUDIO:  http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2009-05-03.mp3

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  • Sunday Homily 8-9-09, 19th Ordinary Time

    Readings: 1 Kings 19, 4-8; Psalm 34, Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord; Ephesians 4, 30-5, 2; John 6, 41-51

     Mass 8-9-09

    Kings:  a review–

    Subject: The kings of Israel.  The Big 3 were Saul, David, & his son Solomon.  The Book of kings follows the Book of Samuel, which describes the lives of the the kings up to the death of David.  Kings takes up the life of Solomon, his building of the temple, his death, and the fate of the kingdom following his death, i.e., it divides and is conquered. 

    Time Period: : from ca. 900 – 550 BCE, or from Solomon to Nebuchadnezzar & Cyrus of Persia (Iran).

    Authors: a compilation of many sources that was put together at the end of the Babylonian Captivity, ca. 550 BCE.

    Our Selection: focus is on one man, the prophet Elijah.  The kingdom has already been split.  Our story takes place in the northern state, Israel.  Time of severe drought.  The king is Ahab; his queen, the famous Jezebel.  The prophet Elijah has scolded them for turning to false gods to end the drought.

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    We enter at a point where Jezebel is furious with Elijah for killing her favorite prophets and aims to kill Elijah.  He is going to run away all depressed. 

     

    We will read an expanded chapter 19, from 1-13.

    Alexandra 8-9-09

    Taste and See the Goodness of Life

    The psalm today says to "taste and see the goodness of the Lord."  I would like to suggest that we taste and see the goodness of life.  I have a Yosemite story that exemplifies this.

    The scene.  It is day 5 of our 9 day trip in the park.  We are at about 9,000 feet.  Our last campsite has been at a beautiful high altitude lake called Miller Lake.  No one else was around it but our group of 10.  It has rained every afternoon since we entered Yosemite, more rain than I have ever seen in all the years I have come to Yosemite.  

    We have to descend from the lake, reach the bottom of Matterhorn Canyon, then climb up the canyon as far as we can go & still have shelter from trees.  I've told the guys in the lead to look for just the right spot to camp in overnight before we go over our third pass of the trip, the third of four, all above 10,000 feet, the first one above 11,000.  

    When I arrive in the campsite the guys have chosen, it is close to the time for the rain to begin.  Everyone has set up their tent except me and one or two others.  I notice we are not in compliance with camping rules, but who am I to suggest that everyone move their tent 100 feet away from the trail and the mountain stream.  

    So I set up my own tent in a wooded area with lots of vines & bushes, take a quick dip in the mountain stream to clean up, and climb into my dry tent for a brief snooze before the rain passes and we get out for dinner around 5:00.  

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    Cara 8-9-09

    No discussion would budge her.  Not the rain, not the hour, nothing.  She left saying she would go up canyon, then return later to see our progress.  I felt horrible.  I remember sitting in my tent thinking, "What next?"  I figured at least we could wait until 4:30 to see if the rain would stop. 

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    Shelby 8-9-09

    I could taste & see the goodness of life on this trip.

    In your life, what are 2 places or ways you taste & see the goodness?

    Picture 1:  Mass with Kevin & T.J.

    Picture 2:  Alexandra & her dad, David

    Picture 3:  Cara & her mom, Christine

    Picture 4:  Shelby & her mom, Debbie

     

  • Sunday Homily, February 7, 2016, 5th Ordinary Time, C

    Readings:

    Isaiah  6, 1-8,   “Here I am,” I said, “send me.” The call of Isaiah.

    Psalm 138,  In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.

     1 Corinthians 15, 1 – 11,   I am the least of the apostles.

    Luke 5, 1-11,   The big catch of fish.

     

    Kevin 1
    Says Kevin, "Welcome in, Everybody, we are ready."

     

    Observations:   Isaiah (I) 

    This is The Great One.  The Prophet.  My favorite.  In general, this work has three parts put together by three different people.  It is time dependent: before, during, and after the, you guessed it, the Babylonian Captivity.  Keep 555 before Christ in mind as an easy date.  You can guess that this is Isaiah I, being chapter 6 (of 66 chapters)

    Last week we heard the story of the prophet Jeremiah’s call by Yahweh.  This week we have Isaiah’s call. 

     

    Harper 3

    Harper, too, says, "Hi, Folks, Welcome in."

     

    Psalm 138

    Want to hear something beautiful?  Listen to today’s psalm.  Another of my favorites. Thanks, thanks, and more thanks.

    1 Corinthians 15

    In last week’s Corinthians’ reading Paul described his vision of love.  Today he continues talking to the people of his church in Corinth, focusing on how he was called by God.

    So, today we have a theme of call & gratitude.  Even the gospel has a sub-theme of call.  Pretty neat.

     

    Candles 4

     

     Candle Lighters of The Week, Cole and Leo.

     

    Have a Happy Lent?

    This morning, Folks, I want to talk about how to have a happy Lent, a Lent positive spiritually-psychologically and even physically.  

    I got a story to exemplify my ideas. 

    Last Friday morning at our 6:00 A.M. spin class at the Jewish Community Center, I had the opportunity to celebrate the birthday of our trainer, a girl in her thirties named Jennifer.  She did not know this was coming.

     

    Music 2

                               

    The Best, Shonda & Bethany, Ray & David,

     

    She had told me the date of her birthday when I asked her a couple of weeks before if she was going to give me a birthday gift the week of the 26th.  I asked for the theme of Rocky, my favorite work out music.  At the same time she said yes to Rocky, she said her birthday was the 5th.  I tucked it away.

    So, just before she started cranking us up at 6:00, Friday, I got off of my bike and addressed the 20 or so other bikers saying that is was Jennifer’s birthday.  We sang and then I gave her a gift with a ribbon Rosemary had added.  The gift?  A Cliff bar.  I figured she might beat me if I gave her a cupcake.  She eats healthy and it shows.

     

    Gen 4

                                       

    Ugh, Oh, Folks, that girl is loose.

     

    At the same time the kid that mans the entrance desk walks in with a big piece of poster paper and tapes it on the glass wall.  It said ‘Happy Birthday, Jennifer.’  I had told him about it being her birthday and never expected such a positive response. 

    Jennifer was obviously touched.  I became the teacher’s pet with hopes of future preferential treatment.   A dream.

     

    Gen 6

     

    Ugh, Oh, again, Gen, You are hanging out with dangerous people, that is, Leo and Zoe. 

     

    Back to Lent.

    I have mentioned before how I have a gloomy reaction to Lent mostly because of my early Jesuit experience with extra penance.   Like, we had chains we wore on our thighs a couple of times a week and we had little whips which we used to scourge our backs a couple of evenings a week before we went to bed in our cubicles.  I think we were sane enough to laugh at most of this.

    So, how do we make Lent this year a positive experience?  I think most of us are into a fine tuning zone, a little here, a little there.

     

    IMG_1523

    Jennifer and Kennedy, baptism time.  Welcome into our world, Kennedy.

     

    So, physically, what needs fine tuning?  Myself, normally I have to watch the big 3, sugar, butter, salt.  I love them all, but they do bad things to me.  My goal: trim off maybe 5  pounds, weight I have gained from Thanksgiving, through Christmas, to my birthday the end of January.

    So, where do you want to fine tune, lose a pound or two, exercise a bit more?

     

    IMG_1528

                             

    Hi, Kennedy, Thanks for bringing your mom & dad and your  god parents,  Nick and Stephanie.

     

    Spiritually-psychologically?  I would propose two positives:

    1. Take time to contemplate, appreciate, and give thanks for something.
    2. Make an effort every day to do something positive, like singing happy birthday to Jennifer.  I was lucky to have that opportunity to celebrate her. 

     

    IMG_1534

     

    The Braun family,  Don & Debbie, Kennedy & Jen &  Kyle, Eric, Heather & Mckinley. 

     

    Rosemary & some others of you have suggested we keep a jar, write down on a small piece of paper the positive thing we did that day, and put the paper in the jar.  A one a day vitamin.

    The positive gesture can tie up with the gratitude. 

    Rosemary will say a word about this at the time of The Blessing of The Week.  

    So, how are you going to celebrate a Lent that is happy?

  • Sunday Homily 3-7-10, Lent 3

    Readings: Exodus 3, 1-15; Psalm 103, The Lord is kind and merciful; 1 Corinthians 10, 1-12; Luke 13, 1-9

     Tony 3-7-10
      

    Third Sunday in Lent – Introduction to the Readings

    Our readings today are definitely a reminder that there is a cultural influence in our readings, which was alive and well at the time of Jesus and unfortunately is still very much alive today.  Namely, if bad stuff happens to you, you must have deserved it and God is getting back at you!  In the gospel we will hear Jesus explain that the tower fell on the 18 people, but that didn’t mean they were bad.  That the people Pilate had put to death were not bad people.  But Jesus ends each of these examples with a scary warning – worse will happen to you if you don’t behave!!

       

    In our second reading from Paul to the Corinthians we find Paul remembering the fate of the Jews who had escaped from Egypt with Moses and saying that God was not pleased with most of them and so they never made it out of the desert!!

       

    It is readings like these that are bad PR for God.  They represent the view of the punishing God.  And yet a careful reading of Luke’s Gospel will show that when Jesus is asked about those who were killed and whether they were greater sinners than the rest, he is quite clear in his response “By no means” God does not operate that way.

      

    The first reading I am saving to comment on in the homily.

     John 3-7-10
      

    Third Sunday in Lent – Homily

    “Take off your shoes, you are standing on Holy Ground!”

    Most of the time we are not really aware that we are standing on holy ground.  I do remember a few years ago, when Gayle and I were living in California we did a bit of camping.  In the early days of the camping we slept in the back of the Volvo wagon we had.  On one of our trips we had driven down Hwy 1 to San Simeon and pulled off the road just next to some sand hills.  We cooked our meal and as the sky darkened I suddenly became aware that we were on holy ground.  There was a full moon overhead, in the distance we could see the lights of Hearst Castle, the sounds of the waves came in over the sandhills from the Pacific Ocean.  I had a little transistor radio that my parents had given me for my 21st birthday, and I was able to get the BBC World Service broadcasting  the Last Night of the Prom Concerts!  It was glorious.

       

    I think, occasionally we have moments like this when we are suddenly aware of God’s Creation, but sadly most of the time we are too busy to notice our surroundings.  Moses, in today’s first reading was reminded.

       

    In the Gospel, we had an incident where 18 people had been killed by a falling tower.  Big News.  Last month we had 250,000 people killed in Haiti, old news.  We get too much news and we have become insensitive to so much around us.  There is too much demand on our time.  We come here each Sunday to try and take a bit of time out.  To listen to God’s Word and to remember that not only are we standing on Holy Ground, but that each person around us, not just today, but everyday, is representing God to us, and also an opportunity for us to represent God to them.

     Mary & Frank 3-7-10

  • Sunday Homily 6-20-10, Father’s Day & 12th Ordinary Time

    Readings:  Zephaniah 12, 10-11, 13, 1; Psalm 63, My Soul is Thirsting for You, O Lord my God; Galatians 3, 26-29; Luke 9, 18-24. 

    Father's Day, A Brief History:

    Mother’s Day background:

     

    1.  In reaction to the Civil War horror, Julia Ward Howe proposed a Mother’s Day, ca. 1870.  It became a custom in some communities.

     

     2.  Picking up the idea later was Anna Jarvis who influenced President Wilson to declare it a national May holiday, 1912.

     

    Mass Begins 6-20-10

     

    Father’s Day:

     

    1.  As a compliment celebration, Sonora Smart Dodd in Spokane, WA began celebrating in June a Father’s Day. 

     

    2.  Her history played a role here, because she had great affection for her dad, a Civil War Vet, who took care of the family as sole parent when his wife died giving birth to their 6th child.  Sonora was 16 at the time.

     

    3.  Sonora also influenced  President Wilson to establish a June Father’s Day national holiday.  He could not get it through Congress, who thought it was getting trivial.  In fact, while Mother’s Day was eagerly celebrated, at first Father’s Day was considered a joke.

     

    4.  LBJ finally designated it to be celebrated the 3rd Sunday of June.  55 other countries celebrate on the same day.

     

    5.  President Nixon finally got it established as a national holiday.  Date 1972.

     

    Special Blessing 6-20-10

     

    A Father’s Day Story

     

     

    This event happened in mid-March.  I was out in the back yard on a Monday morning about 7:30.  I remember it was sunny, which was rare this past March. 

     

     

    Do not tell my physical therapist that I was out in the yard walking around with my cane or walker.  I don’t remember which.  I know I was still home bound for another couple of weeks from the second hip replacement.   There was a fear I would fall down and dislocate the thing. 

    I know it was Monday because we have our recycle material pick up and I was out putting stuff in the container in the alley.

     

    Kiddies' Korner 6-20-10

     

    At some point I am walking back to the porch and the back door, taking the long route to see how many pecan branches had fallen in the yard.  I’m out near the edge of our property where it touches the little north-south street, Camellia. 

     

     

    Along comes an elderly guy I had seen once or twice earlier in the year (probably younger than I am).  He was headed to the Starbucks on Royal & Preston.  We have a fair amount of foot traffic from the neighborhood pass our corner headed to Starbucks for their morning fix.

    He says to me, “You have a really nice yard here.”  Now when he says this, I’m thinking I did not hear him because our yard is a winter mess, lots of small branches still lying around from the first snow fall, everything ragged and unkempt. 

     

     

    So I say, “Thanks, but the yard is really a mess right now and I cannot do anything about it for another month or so.”  And he responds, “Yes, but you really do keep a beautiful place here.” 

     

    I thank him again and he continues on toward Starbucks. 

     

    I was dumbstruck and touched.  I do attempt to maintain a pretty place.  It is like therapy for me.  Yet this is the first time a passing stranger has ever complimented me on it.  That compliment made my day and it stuck with me.  It even gave me this shot of energy which made me want to go out and clean the place up, but I couldn’t.

     

    Pam & Sam 6-20-10

     

    The power of a compliment or positive stroke!  They give life.  I have subsequently found out this guy’s name is Harold and he is both a dad and a grand dad.  He has a gift.  It is a gift we all have

    When and to whom do you dads put the gift to use?

     

     

    Picture 1:  Sienna helping with the beginning of Mass

     

    Picture 2:  Special Blessing of Males by the Women, Sandra

     

    Picture 3:  Kiddie Korner, Kayla & Cici

     

    Picture 4:  Sam with his Momma, Pam

     

  • Sunday Homily, March 2, 2008, 4th Lent

    Readings: 1 Samuel 16, 1-13; Psalm 23; Ephesians 5, 8-14; John 9, 1-41.

    Samuel: Another huge jump from last week when we were in the desert with Moses after the exodus from Egypt, which itself was a big jump from the story of Abraham’s call in Genesis.  This book of Samuel is the first big book after the Pentatuch, the first 5 books of the Old Testament.  The book chronicles the shift among the Hebrews from a judge leader to a king.  The big characters: Samuel, the last great judge, Saul, the first king, and the fabulous King David.

    Today’s selection tells how Samuel found and choose David to someday be The Man.

    Gabriella

    Marriage # 5: The Art of Giving

    At the prospect of marriage, I was told by you can imagine whom, "Stack, you’ve had it easy all your life in the Jesuits.  You don’t know how hard marriage is and how much you will have to give up."   It was enough to scare me into bailing out.  It seemed like it was going to be all give and no get.  Now I’ve been married 3 years, that’s what it has been.

    Actually, as you all know so well, it has been all gift.  Never the less, the event of giving is essential to the art of marriage.  I’m learning more about this every day.  I see at least three ways the giving takes place.  There may be more, but let me talk about words, listening, and touch.

    I am surprised how easy it is to get out of the habit I was trained in as a kid and as a Jesuit to mention two simple phrases.  "Please," for one.  I can so easily simply say, "Would you do this," or "Would you get this for me?"  It seems polite to me, but it does not quite cut it.  It may be polite, but the "please" makes the difference.  It is courtesy.

    Secondly, "thanks."  I am impressed in my dealing with couples how often "thanks" has fallen out of usage.  In my mind I assume Rosemary knows I am grateful.  Often it may be some small thing, like moving so I can pass by.  Temptation: walk by saying nothing.  A trap, a lack of courtesy. 

    There is a third set of words that needs to be heard, therefore spoken a number of times a day.  How often do we hear of someone who has lost a loved one and regrets this was not said before parting, "I love you."  If it is not said, I don’t know it for sure.  My confidence & my security in my relationship is enriched by hearing "I love you."

    Besides words playing a role in the art of marriage, the flip is true: listening.  This may be hard.  I’m reading the sports page, I’m listening to Garrison Keilor and Rosemary says something.  Curses.  I better listen up or I’ve had it.  Listening itself has verbal & non verbal parts. 

    Verbal means more than hearing.  It means listeningto what is being said.  Very difficult sometimes.  Non verbal involves listening to the body language.  Some body language is obvious: a slammed door, a book thrown, silence.  Other body language is more subtle, a sadness, a distance, a reluctance to talk.  What’s up?  I notice–fill in the blank—.  If it is obvious, maybe some real listening is in order.  If it is subtle, ask an open ended question, like, "How are you doing."  Not, "You feel bad/good?"  Closed ended questions get off with an answer of yes or no.  Open ended questions involve explanation.

    Finally, the art of marriage involves touch.  Hugs to start with.  I have a great hunger for hugs, as you all know.  Balm for the spirit.  Besides hugs, however, the gift of touch involves all sorts of little contacts, with hands, a finger, a foot, an elbow.  A hand on the arm.  Granted, some people don’t like this much touch.  Beware of the buddy, buddy arm around my shoulder.

    Oh, there is a fourth.  Rosemary says to remind the guys, "Remember, diamonds are a girl’s best friend."  Can someone help me with this?  Who doubted I would be better off married?

    How does word, listening, touch play a role in the art of your marriage (friendship)?

    Lacee

    AUDIO:  http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2008-03-02.mp3