Christmas Eve, Thursday, December 24, 2020

Readings: Acts 8, 5-17; Psalm 66; 1 Peter 3, 15-18; John 14, 15-21.

 

Conditional or Unconditional Love?

On the west coast there is a writer named David Sheff who wrote a book about his son Nic.  The book is called Beautiful Boy.  In turn, Nic wrote a book about his own experience of growing up, a book called Tweak.

When Nic was 11 years old he got totally drunk for the first time.  During his four years in high school, he continued down this path, drinking, smoking pot, and experimenting with drugs.  On graduation Nic entered the world of methamphetamines and he plunged toward the bottom.  Tweak refers to the condition of a person on meth, totally strung out.

David tells in his book how for 2, maybe 3 years he refused to accept that his beautiful son was a drug addict.  On numerous occasions, after Nic had been gone for weeks on end, David would get Nic into a rehab program.  Nic would rehab for a month or two, come out and stay clean and sober for three or four days, then disappear into his meth world for another stretch. 

Nic got so desperate he would break into his dad’s house and into his dad’s friends’ houses to steal money or items to sell.  At a really low point he stole $8 from his little brother Jasper.  All this helped him to feel lower than dirt, but he was obsessed about his addiction.

During the first two years, David worried constantly and would welcome Nic home whenever he showed up or called for help.  Only slowly with the help of counseling, consulting, and Al Anon did he begin to believe in the tough love concept.  He told Nic he could not help him with money & bed, only get him into rehab. 

During one long clean & sober period it looked like Nic had turned a corner.  He even gave Jasper $8 and wrote him a touching apology.  Shortly after that, he disappeared again. 

I watched David mature in this book.  Though a loving father, in the beginning he was a poor parent and self indulgent.  As Nic spirals downward, David continues to love.  But he matures and his love matures.  Which brings me to a subject I’ve been hearing about & reflecting upon, conditional vs unconditional loving.  The Gospel brings up the idea.  Did David ever love Nic with unconditional love?   How would I see it?  What would be the signs?

Three comments about conditional & unconditional love:

1.  Have you ever noticed how the Bible is full of conditional love statements?  Look at today’s Gospel.  "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."  "Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me."  Also, John 15, 10 & 14.  "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love."  "You are my friends, if you do what I command you."  Sounds very conditional and parental. 

In other places there is talk about the sheep and the goats and the unquenchable flames.  The Old Testament is one long story of a jealous Yahweh.  Many tragedies befell the Hebrews because they did not show enough honor to Yahweh.

2.  Does Jesus show us the face of an unconditionally loving God? In his words? What we hear today is pretty conditional.  What about his actions? 

What if God is an unconditionally loving God, or an unconditionally accepting God?

3.  How do I become unconditionally loving?  Do I want to?  As a parent?   Two observations:

     a.  Is unconditional love made up of unconditional acceptance?  I think so. Tough.  Is there a distinction between accepting the person and accepting the actions, e.g., addiction and abuse?  I think so.  It is how tough love comes into play.

     b.  Is unconditional acceptance of another influenced by unconditional acceptance of myself ? I think so.  David had a hard time with guilt.  He felt guilt, I think appropriately.  He was told the 3 C’s: you did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.  Nonsense.  I see regularly and believe in the miracle of cure, cure of the spirit, cure of the heart.  And I can accept that I cause harm to other people.

   

In summary, I would suggest that we become more spiritually whole the more we love unconditionally.

Whom do you love unconditionally? 

AUDIO:  http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2008-04-27.mp3

Readings: Isaiah 49, 1-6; Psalm 139 (good); Acts of the Apostles 13 22-26; Luke 1, 57-66.

Isaiah: One of the 3 great Old Testament prophets, he lived about 700 years before Christ.  Actually the book itself has about 3 authors. The section we read this morning emphasizes the call Isaiah received from Yahweh to be a prophet. It ties in with John the Baptist, today’s feast. 

How to Get There

Last week when we confirmed Erica & Susie we talked about six qualities of the person who is becoming more mature and more whole. The qualities were curiosity, hope, gratitude, love, zest, and humor. 

This morning I would like to focus on the road to these qualities. How do I get there? I have five suggestions plus one. The first five I picked up somewhere, liked them, and wrote them down. 

The five plus one suggestions are: no hatred, no worry, give more, expect less, live simply, and accept.

With hatred I would distinguish between the feeling of hating a person and the state of being a person of hatred.  It is normal to hate. It is a feeling. To deny it if I feel it is more dangerous.  Because of guilt I may try to stuff the feeling. Then watch it become a state. If I hate, process it and then for me it has helped to forget.  Note that underneath hatred is probably anger & hurt.  That was where I was when I got kicked out of East Africa. After talking about it with trustworthy people, I had to just forget. And it worked.

Worry often involves the game of "What if?"  What if my child gets hurt?  What if I fall down? The opposite can be used as the antidote: "What if not?" Worry does not mean that I do not care or take care. Worry involves fret over a future I have at most limited control over. 

What is the hardest thing for me to give more of? Money, things, time, my attention?  That is where the path to greater peace lies. It may even involve giving care to myself, what I call self nurturing. I occasionally see people fearful of nurturing themselves because they consider it selfishness. 

Expecting less can really get tough when I focus on people. When my expectation of a person’s behavior is up here and they behave down there, I get mad & hurt. My dad always used to get upset on Saturday nights when he & my mom were going out. Mom was always late & dad’s expectation of being on time was up there where mom did not go.

Living simply takes work these days. When I lived in Tanzania, it was pretty easy to live a simple life style. In Dallas there is so much stuff. Wardrobes can go out of sight.  Cars, houses, things.  They weigh us down.

Finally, I add acceptance. Acceptance involves not only things & events, it involves me, accepting myself. It comes up constantly in daily life. 

Using these six little rules for happiness, we can become more peaceful and more whole people. One may be more challenging than the others. 

Which challenges you more?

Click here to download to an mp3 file:

 

"Welcome in, Everybody," say Sydney & Hugh.

 

 

Readings: 

Isaiah 43, 16-21,  See, I am doing something new.

Psalm 126,  The Lord has done great things for us, we are filled with joy.

Philippians 3, 8-14, I consider everything as a loss.

John 8, 1-11,   Let the one who among you is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.

 

 

And likewise from Jackie, "Welcome in, Folks, we have a reconciliation service this morning before the Our Father."

 

 Isaiah Observations:

The scene: the Jewish people are captives in Babylon ca. 555 years before Christ.  Isaiah No.1  had warned the people that their bad ways were going to lead to this.   

In this chapter 43, which is Isaiah No. 2, Isaiah has Yahweh reminding them of how much he has done for them in the past and lets them know that they are still his people.  Their lives will get better.  

 

 

Candle service with Tori lighting and her brother, Buddy,  reading The Blessing of the Candles.

 

 

The first 5 verses of this chapter are some of my favorites in the whole Bible.  Isaiah No.2 is telling the people to not be afraid because he is with them. It goes— 

Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you.  I have called you by your name.  You are mine.  When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you…  When you pass through fire, you will not suffer.   I regard you as precious, honored, and I love you.  

I will give up whole nations to save your life, because you are precious to me & because I love you and give you honor.  Do not be afraid, I am with you.

 

Bernadette says, "Hey, those are my grandkids.

 

Philippians Observations:

Philippi was a town in Macedonia, now called Greece.  Philippi was the first church Paul set up on European soil.  He is in prison.  He is basically saying that for him nothing has any importance beyond his relationship with Jesus.

Psalm 126 ( a good one), 

The Lord has done great things for us.  We are filled with joy.

 

 

Spring Fever: Juliets out on the town.

 

Punishment or Compassion

I would like to talk this morning about the woman in the gospel, the one about to be stoned to death for being caught in adultery.   An example of punishment vs compassion.   The Law vs Jesus.  The brutality and the injustice of it smacks me in the face.  It is, also, so contemporary.

It reminds me of a very uncomfortable situation I found myself in when I was learning Swahili in Tanzania.   This would have been about ’77 or ’78, when I was just getting into the language. 

 

 

The Best with Shonda & Ben.

 

I was at an outstation church from an outstation church maintained by our Jesuit parish in a town called Tabora, smack in the middle of Tanzania, on the east-west train track.   This is the place where I later fell into the grave of a little lady I was burying and the place where I spent Advent and Christmas one year with two young Jesuit interns from the Island of Malta just off the Mediterranean tip of Italy.

On this occasion I was being shown around by the 4-5 men of this tiny village with a small, mud walled church.  I could not have been saying much because the language was still quite difficult for me.

 

 

The Minor Elevation.

 

It was afternoon of a pleasant day.  We are way out in the bush and I remember the land was fairly green.  It was probably the period of the small rains, meaning, say, February or March.   The long rains come in our summer.  This is south of the equator.

At one point the men and I are wandering up a slope on top of which was a fairly large corrugated metal building, probably built by the government to help the villagers store their produce.

 

 

Communion Service table with John and Alison.

 

As we get closer I can hear voices from inside the building and a thud or two.  Maybe the guys escorting me had explained what was going on and I did not understand.

Whatever the case, we are maybe twenty yards from a door at the corner of the building when, all of a sudden, the door opens and a few guys come out and with them staggers a man who has been beaten.  He is dressed in nothing more than something like a towel or a skirt.  He has bruises on his shoulders and legs.  Because he is black I can’t see discoloring, but I see wounds. 

 

 

Offertory team with Lynda & Tom, Teresa & Tom.

 

He has been caught cattle rustling.  He took one cow that he found out in the countryside near the village and attempted to get away.  He is a skinny older guy and probably not too smart.  They caught him easily. 

After teaching him a lesson, they are planning to walk him to the police station about 40 miles away in Tabora, the larger town I came from.  Along the way they will pass a few small villages where the inhabitants will also beat him.  If he makes it, jail will look pretty good.  And he does make it, I heard later.

 

 

Reconciliation service, "Please forgive me," "I forgive you."

 

When this old guy sees me, he sees a savior and comes toward me with a begging gesture. 

I am ready to throw up and I want to tell the people to stop beating the man.   But I don’t know the language and I feel very awkward because these people are hosting me.  I feel paralyzed.

What do I do?   I did nothing.  And I was haunted by my doing nothing for years.  I had to forgive myself somewhere along the years.

 

 

 

Everyone is offered the opportunity to ask for and to give forgiveness, plus a peace hug.  Most moving.

 

 

 

                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grace reading from the Great Prophet, Isaiah.

 

Readings:

Isaiah 9, 1-6,    The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light, upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shown.  (Wow!  Beautiful)

Psalm, 96,  Today is born our savior, Christ the Lord.

Reading 2: The Road Less Taken

Luke 2, 1-14,   The Nativity story.   (Lovely)

 

 

 

John reading The Road not Taken, one of The Greats.

 

Frost, Robert: The Road Not Taken  ( Reading #2)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

        And sorry I could not travel both   

And be one traveler.       Long I stood

         and looked down one as far as I could,

         to where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other, as just as fair,       

         And having perhaps the better claim,

         Because it was grassy and wanted wear.

         Though as for that the passing there

         Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

         In leaves no step had trodden black.

         Oh, I kept the first for another day!

         But knowing how way leads onto way,

         I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

         Somewhere ages and ages hence:

         Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–

         I took the one less traveled by,

         And that has made all the difference.

 

 

 

Claire reading the Nativity Narrative from Luke.

 

Homily, 12/24/18

Since November when this crazy lumbar stenosis smacked  me, I have had more doctor appointments than ever in my life, including  getting my two nice titanium hips.

On one occasion I was going to Presby’s office building 4, on the south east corner of Walnut Hill & Greenville.  This was my second visit to this building.  Parking is all on the ground level, with the 5 or 6 story building over the parking. 

 

 

The Nativity story with Leo as Joseph and Zoe as Mary.

 

This morning Rosemary drove me over, dropped me fairly near the big glass doors, two sets of them.  It is freezing, darkish, and windy like being in a wind tunnel.

As I approach the first set of doors, though still 30 yards away, this tall,  strong looking black lady in a security uniform comes running from the inside, opens one of the doors wide and says cheerily, Good Morning and Welcome In.

 

 

Who dat??  That is the Baby Jesus, otherwise known as Betsy!

 

I laugh despite being in a world of pain from the pinched nerve.  I thank her.  And as I pass in front of her at the door, I tell her, “I am finding it hard to have people opening doors for me.  I ain’t used to this.”

So I go upstairs, check with my doctor, and return to the lobby in maybe an hour.  I sit on a marble ledge, call Rosemary, and wait.

 

 

 

Sez Luke, "Hey, I'm an Angel!

 

Suddenly coming in through the doors from the outside, my black security lady appears.  I wave at her and she walks toward me.  She says, “You remember what you said to me that it is hard to let others hold the door for you.  Well, I look at you and I know you.  I know that you have opened a lot of doors for other people to walk through.   For me it is an honor to be able to pay it back just a little and hold the door for you.”

 

 

Does it get better than this ??!!

 

I was stunned, I was touched, I was in tears.

Are people not good!

Have a wonderful Christmas.

 

 

The Best Team!

Wisdom 18: The night of the passover was known beforehand to our fathers,  that, with sure knowledge of the oaths in which they put their faith,  they might have courage.

Hebrews 11:  Brothers and sisters: Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. Because of it the ancients were well attested.

 

                     

Annette reading from the Book of Wisdom

 

Thanks…     

Music,   Ben  & Shonda

Jackie sharing her thoughts on the readings

 

Outreach: $   160.00

Thanks again, Folks, for doing what you can.

 

 

Mary gets a cookie for her anniversary

 

 

Rosemary's Blessing:

Come, O Dancing God,

Spirit of Life and Love,

of  Beauty and Diversity,

stir up my soul,

bathe me in your light,

and unleash my own spirit

that I may dance with you

and be light for those around me

and reflect your love to all that I meet this week.

 

Edited and adapted from a blessing by Fr. Andrew M. Greeley

 

"Welcome in, Everybody," sez Crazy Patricia.

 

Readings: 

1 Samuel 2, 7-9, 12-13, 22-23,   I would not harm the Lord's anointed.  

Psalm 103,  The Lord is kind & merciful. (a good one, a favorite line)

1 Corinthians 15, 45-49,    The first man was from earth; the second from heaven.

Luke 6,  27-38, Do good to those who hate you.

 

 

 

" Welcome in, Everybody," from the whole team.

 

Observations  on 1 Samuel

Our 1st reading today is from the first book  in a fun & interesting 4 book series which is somewhat historical, somewhat metaphorical & imaginative.

The books: 1 & 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings.  The first two books center on 3 main characters, the first ever kings of the Israelites, namely Samuel, the first king, Saul, the 2^nd king, an insecure, jealous, and paranoiac man, and the Great King David, a colorful character. 

Ever hear of Bathsheba?   Check out David in 2 Samuel.

 

 

John reading his marvelous updating of today's Gospel.

 

The last 2 books, 1 & 2 Kings, describe the beautiful times of Solomon and the building of the temple.  The final book of the 4 describes the bad ways of the people which lead to the bad days of the Babylonian captivity.

Estimated time of composition, ca, 555, during the Babylonian Captivity.

 

 

Wake up, John.  Punch him, Karen.

 

Homily, February 24

When I was studying  theology in Toronto from ’68-’72, the fall of my second year we had to take a course in moral theology.  We were part of a consortium of seminarians.  We Jesuits were the biggest group with ca. 40 guys.  There were probably 6-8 other groups, even some individuals.   All guys.

We Jesuits lived in a large building in a northern suburb called Willowdale.  There were four classes with a total of probably 200, plus 6-8 Jesuit professors.  We had classes on the down town campus of U. of Toronto.  

 

 

Our bread baker and hostess with the mostest welcoming everybody to communion.

 

The fall of my second year our class had to take a course in moral theology.   Fundamentally it was how to administer the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession, plus other moral questions.  For example, like torture, capital punishment, abortion.

The professor of this rather large class was a young Jesuit priest just graduated from Harvard, named Bryan.  I honestly don’t remember his last name.  Bryan was sharp, liberal, and not blessed with public relations skills. 

 

 

And hiding behind John, Allen & Aggie.

 

Bryan put off the majority of the class and a group even came to complain to him.  What did Bryan do?  He told them if they did not like him or his presentations, they could go somewhere else.  He did this with more blunt language than I use here.  So all these guys boycotted his class.

I give all this information as background to my interaction with Bryan in the spring semester of that same academic year.

 

 

Would someone please sit with Sandra.

 

At the end of our third year the Jesuit program normally had the moral theology exam.  Since my class had already covered the class requirements, some of us thought we would like to take the moral theology exam at the end of the second year.   Get it off the agenda.

So I get elected to go make the request to, take a guess, Bryan.  He not only denies my request and tells me to wait until the end of year 3, he tells me if I & my buddies do it anyway, he will flunk us all.   We did and he did.   I even went to the Jesuit rector to complain before we took the exam, which, incidentally was in Latin before a board of 3 of the Jesuit faculty.

So, if I am supposed to love my enemies, do I have to love Brian?   Yes.

 

 

Welcome Home, Beth, our Colorado Snow Bird of the Week.

 

Two comments.  We are dealing here in Luke with infinite demand.

At the same time, we are offered infinite acceptance.  For example, my favorite line showing up this morning in the Psalm, The Lord is gracious and merciful, never gets angry, and is abounding in kindness. 

 

 

Help is on the way, Hugh.