Sunday Homily, April 8, 2007 – Easter Sunday

Readings: Acts 10, 34-43; Psalm 118; Colossians 3, 1-4; John 20, 1-9.

An Easter Story (Kids Only?)

There is a little girl named Meredith. She had a dog named Amy who after a good life died when Meredith was 4. Meredith loved Amy and wanted to write a note to God to make sure He knew she had arrived.

Her mother, being a good mom, wrote down what Meredith wanted to say, put the letter in an envelope along with 2 pictures so God could identify Amy, and sealed it with Meredith’s return address. Two stamps were applied because the letter had a long way to go. It was addressed: God, Heaven.

A week or so later on a Saturday afternoon, Meredith returned home with her mom. On the porch was package wrapped in gold paper addressed to Meredith. Return address: God, Heaven.

Meredith ran to her room and opened the package. Inside was a small book, When Your Pet Dies, Meredith’s letter and pictures, and on pink paper a handwritten note.

Dearest Meredith,

I am sure you will be happy to know that Amy arrived here safe, sound, and happy. Your pictures were especially helpful and I recognized her immediately. She is now with me all the time.

You might also be happy to know that she is no longer sick and stiff. Rather her spirit is so frisky and playful that I cannot keep up with her.

Since as spirits we do not have bodies and therefore don’t have pockets, I am returning your helpful pictures and beautiful letter. They may provide good memories some day.

Thank you for such a thoughtful letter. I hope the book helps. Thanks also to your wonderful mom for helping you with the letter. Did you know I chose her especially for you.

One of my angels is helping me with this letter. As God I enjoy hanging around heaven and wherever there is love. I bless you and love you more every day.

Signed, God & one of his special helpers (who wrote this letter when God told her the words to write).

What is Your Easter Story?

Download the homily as an mp3 file.

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  • Sunday Homily, April 16, 2017, Easter

      CIMG7618

     

    Who let that rabbit in here??  Happy Easter, Everybody.  Welcome.

     

    Readings:

    Acts of the Apostles  10, 34-43.   You know what has happened all over Judea

    Psalm 118,  This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad.

    1 Corinthians 5, 6-8,   A little yeast leavens all the dough.

     John 20,  1-9,    The Resurrection

     

    CIMG7562

     

    Chloe with Nora and Charlotte and their buddy, all say, "Happy Easter, Folks, welcome in."

     

     Resurrection

    I would like to talk about the Resurrection this morning.  I suspect that you, like me, consider this event a one time event from ancient history.

    However, on the contrary, I want to suggest that resurrection events are multiple and present tense.  They take place daily or, at least, frequently in our lives.  A resurrection moment is a moment of great positive feeling, great consolation, a Kilimanjaro moment, and a time when I say ‘It is good to be alive.’

     

    CIMG7563

     

     Joanie  and the kids.

     

    Let me give you 4-5 examples. 

    First, there is a bike ride the last Saturday every August in and around Wichita Falls, yes, the famous Hotter ‘N Hell.  After you have ridden the 100 miles and just before the finish line in town, you pass over a bridge leading up and then down to the finish.  Many a time when I am on top of that bridge, I am in tears, tears of gratitude and positive feelings.   I can say to myself, ‘It is so good to be alive!’

     

      CIMG7575

     

    The Gerwers, Casey & Rob, and the kids.

     

    Secondly, another bike ride in July, for a week, 500 miles, crossing Iowa from west to east, from the Missouri to the Mississippi.    When I come down a hill and behold that enormous gorgeous river, I have a Kilimanjaro moment.  Tears again, gratitude, wonder. ‘It is good to be alive.”

     

    CIMG7576

     

    Cody with Ben & Olivia.

     

    Thirdly, Labor Day every September we put together a group of 5-12 people and we head out back packing.   I started doing this with the Jesuits back in “89 and we have seen numerous beautiful parks.  For me The Beauty is Yosemite and especially our particular route on the east side, a route I call Matterhorn Canyon.

    There are 3 passes of 10 thousand feet.  Kilimanjaro moments each.  Equally positive are 2-3 special campsites.  ‘It is good to be alive in Yosemite.’

     

    CIMG7579
     

    Harper with her daddy, Brian, and her granddaddy, Ted 

     

    2 more.  Every Fall and Spring many of us in the community volunteer at the Love for Kids picnic at Circle K ranch in Flower Mound.  2 weeks ago I am standing at the entrance to the pavilion to welcome the kids, who are all handicapped.  They come with their marvelous parents.

    At one point my attention was caught by a little blond girl about 2 years old seated in a pram.  She had her left hand over her eyes, her head was down on the little basket, and she was sobbing her eyes out.  She broke my heart.  I think she might have been scared by all the people. 

     

    CIMG7583

     

    Our Great Candle Lighter, Cole, at work.

     

    Bill Hammond has a story about a little boy about 3 who had a left prosthetic leg.  I noticed him coming in, for sure.  Bill says that later the boy & his family approached the horses for a sponsored ride.  The family told Bill they did know.  The boy did not even like to pet dogs. 

    The little boy, however, was so excited once he got on the horse that the horse walkers toured the boy around not one time, but two. 

     

    IMG_2212

     

    I think we have the Zurchin clan here, Tom  & Charlotte, Chloe & Nora with Denni, and Claire & Andrew.

     

    What are your resurrection moments?  When was the last one?

     

    CIMG7564

    Carol with Karen, John, & Richard.

  • Sunday Homily, August 4, 2013, 18th Ordinary Time C

    Readings:

    Ecclesiastes 1, 2; 21-23,  All things are vanity.

    Psalm 90,  If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

    Colossians 3, 1-5, 9-11  Seek what is above.

    Luke 12, 13-21, You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you.

     

     

    Ecclesiastes Observations: 

    Author:  unknown.   A belief was that it was Solomon

    Date: 
     250-150 years before Christ.

    Subject: 
    the work is a putting together of a lot of folk sayings and life
    observations which represent wisdom sometimes, sometimes not.  For instance, today’s selection. 

    Today: 
    pretty pessimistic.  It says that
    everything is vanity. 

     

    Beginning 8-4-13

    Beginning with photos to come.

    Colossians
    observations:  We are done with this work for now,
    fortunately.

    Best line of
    the Day
    : check the Psalm, the 4th stanza, “Fill us at daybreak with
    your kindness, that we may shout for joy and gladness all our days.”  This has been my experience the past week in
    Iowa.  More in the homily.

     

    Joanie & Payton 8-4-13

    Joanie and Payton arriving.

    Fill us at daybreak with
    your kindness

    Fill me
    at daybreak with your kindness, that I may shout for joy and gladness. 
    This was Iowa, folks. 

    If you
    don’t know what this is all about it is this. 
    Sunday, July 21st, Chris and I set out on our bikes with an
    estimated crowd at times of 35,000 riders. 
    We departed the west side if Iowa at the Missouri River and finished at
    the east side and the Mississippi River 7 days later, Saturday. 

    CC 8-4-13

    CC and her buddy.

    The
    whole experience really touched my spirit, but let me single out three special
    events, hospitality, trust, and beauty.

    First, hospitalty.  Most of
    the nights on the ride my team, Spokes of Hope, a cancer support team from
    Indianapolis, found homes at which we could set up tents in the yard.  This was a little more private.

    Kayla 8-4-13

    Kayla following CC.

     

    One
    family in Oskaloosa, the next to the last night, knocked me out.  They had a nice big 5-9 acre lot with two
    houses for the family.  They hosted about
    80 people, Spokes of Hope and Livestrong, Lance Armstrong’s former cancer
    program. 

    Leo 8-4-13

    And Mr. Leo looking cool on a hot morning.

    When we
    arrived they had spread out on their deck chips and dip and drinks.  At 5:00 they themselves served us all an
    enormous dinner.  The next morning they
    sent us on our way with a great breakfast. 
    All gratis, no charge.   Hospitality.

    Gracie 8-4-13

    Gracie ready for anything with her backpack.

    In Des
    Moines a widow of about 6 months invited our 14 member team into her nice
    house.  She is a doctor and teaches at
    the local medical school.

    She,
    also, fixed us all a big dinner and a big breakfast.  She sent us on our way with a few dozen
    chocolate chip cookies and brownies.  The
    Indianapolis folks are probably still eating those cookies.   All
    gratis, no charge.  Hospitality.

    Emma 8-4-13

    Emma looking beautiful, as always.

    Next, trust.  Never did I fear my bike would be
    stolen.  In the small towns where it was
    impossible to ride because of the mass of people, bikes were dropped
    everywhere.  In fact, the problem was
    remembering, “Wow, where is my bike?”

    Curtis 8-4-13

    Curtis at 84 who lost his Cupcake of The Week to Emma temporarily.

    One
    afternoon I rode up to a Tom Thumb type grocery store that had an $8 all you
    can eat pasta & dessert sale.  This
    was in the last overnight town on the road, Fairfield.  I remember hesitating at first.  My bike. 
    Lots of people around.  Plus lots
    of bikes.  I left my bike with my helmet & gloves hanging from the handlebar.  An hour
    later it was right there along with all the other bikes & bikers.  The trust, everywhere.

    Kevin 8-4-13

    Kevin, The Reliable, suiting up.

    Finally,
    the beauty.   Don’t believe the idea that Iowa is flat.  It is not mountainous, okay.  It is hilly. 
    This trip had lots of hills and lots of scenic vistas, plus beautiful little towns.  Once
    I must confess at the end of a day 110 miles long I had to walk a hill, my
    thigh muscles saying they just might like to cramp.   I learned prudence from Rosemary.

    Judy C. 8-4-13

    Judy arrives to hear news about….

    There
    were a number of occasions when the hospitality, the trust, and the beauty, to
    not even mention my gratitude at being able to do this, just touched me to
    tears as I rode peacefully along.  Which
    made me say to myself, “Watch out, man, you can’t see and you will crash.”

    Judy 8-4-13

    Keokuk, Iowa and Judy's house, facing the Mississippi on Grand Avenue.

    This is
    the psalm line exemplified, “Fill us at daybreak with your kindness, that we
    may shout for joy and gladness all our days.”

    How is
    it for you?

    Mike 8-4-13

    Keokuk, Iowa, the home of Mike on Grand facing the Mississippi, also. What a coincidence! Same town, same street, facing the same river. Should not these houses be considered historical monuments?

     

  • Sundqay Homily 8-21-11, 21st Ordinary Time

    Readings: Isaiah 22, 19-23; Psalm 138, Lord, Your Love is eternal; do not forsake the Work of Your Hands; Romans 11, 33-36; Matthew 16, 13-20 

    Intro to Readings 

     Our sources for our three readings again this week are Isaiah, Paul to the Romans and Matthew’s Gospel.  John last week talked a little about the Letter to the Romans and I would like to continue with that topic a little further.  This letter to the Romans is different than all of his other letters for several reasons.

     This is Paul’s attempt to tell the folks in Rome, who do not know him, who he is and what he has been preaching!  All of Paul’s other letters were written to communities he had started himself.  He has not yet been to Rome, but there are Christians there.  Paul has enemies who are preaching that he is corrupting the Good News, and so he needs to address that very clearly.  This he does by explaining his own understanding of Jesus.

    J & J 8-21-11 

     Paul is also at a cross-roads in his own life.  He is just completing his missionary work in Asia Minor and Greece.  He is about to head back to Jerusalem with “The Collection”, money he has raised from these communities to support the Jerusalem Church – an early Peters Pence collection!  He then plans to head west to Spain and start his mission word there.  He will need a base in Rome to support that work, and so he also wants to make a good impression there.

     Of course, Paul never does get to Spain!  He is arrested after his visit to Jerusalem and does end up in Rome, but in jail, where he is eventually killed by Nero.

    J & A 8-21-11 

     Homily

     “Who do men say I am?”  This question is one that all three of the Synoptic Gospel writers have.  It is an interesting question, but one which we can all too easily glide over and see it as only directed at Peter.  I would like to propose that it is a very important question and one that each one of us needs to answer today!  Who is Jesus for me, for you? 

    Jon 8-21-11 

     In trying to understand and answer the question it is worth stepping back and approaching it in the following way.  Today, when we are introduced to someone, it is fairly common in the conversation to ask “ and what do you do?”  We tend to try to understand who someone is by what they do.  Their activity or job, helps us get a bit of a handle on who they are.  In the same way when Jesus asks the disciples the question, they tend to fall back on describing who he is by naming people who have done similar things in the past!  We know that the answer “what I do” is not a satisfactory answer, but it seems to be a fairly common approach.  When someone says “oh so you are a salesman” my instinctive reaction is to say yes but I am more than that.  Stick around and get to know me.  Determining who I am by just what I do is very superficial.  So too when it comes to Jesus, what he did is only part of the answer. 

     It seems to me that in order to fully answer the question about Jesus we need to do more than just know what he did.  Yes that will help, but I believe that this getting to know business is a lifetime work.  And reflection is very much a part of that activity. 

    Shonda 8-21-11 
      

     I think that once we get to know someone really well, we change!  Our knowledge of them changes us as a person.  Think about this.  Reflect on the people who are in your life who really mean something to you.  Are you a different person because of that relationship?  I would have to answer “yes” in my case. My life is different, my attitude is different.  Now to bring it back to Jesus, we can certainly say that Peter’s life was very different after Jesus said, “come follow me”.  We know that Paul’s life was totally different after meeting Jesus on the road to Damascus.

     How do we develop and deepen our relationship with Jesus.  It really isn’t enough to just read the New Testament, and read about Jesus, that will just give us information!  We need to do that but then we need to start a dialog with Jesus, and we need to spend time listening to Him.  Not easy, but otherwise we will have a tough time answering the question.  Jesus will be merely an interesting person from long ago, and not someone who has a major say in our daily lives.

    Emma 8-21-11 
     

    The question for each one of us is the same, “Who is Jesus for me?”

    Picutre 1:    Justin with his grandmother, Jean

    Picture 2:    Justin & Anthony

    Picture 3:    Jon

    Picture 4:    Shonda

    Picture 5:    Emma

     

     

  • Sunday Homily, January 12, 2014, Baptism, Cycle A

    Readings:

    Isaiah  42, 1-4, 6-7  I have formed you to open the eyes of the blind.

    Psalm 29,  The Lord will bless his people with peace.

    Acts  10, 34-38,  God shows no partiality.

    Matthew 3, 13-17, After Jesus was baptised, he came up from the water.

     

    Bailey

    Bailey says, "Hi, Everybody, welcome."

     

    Isaiah reminders—

     Author: This is Isaiah #2, the composer of chapters 40-55.  Isaiah is my favorite book and Isaiah 2 I love the most.  As John Cade pointed out a while back, Isaiah 2 is used by Handel in his work, The Messiah, another of my favorites.

     Date:  Ca. 555 before Christ.  The Jewish people of Jerusalem are in the Babylonian Captivity.

     

    Delaney

    Delaney, Bailey's big sister, says, "Yes, welcome to a fun community."

     

     Today’s Message: Hope and promise of a better time with emphasis on 1. being chosen, and 2. being chosen to bring light to the other nations, sight to the blind, and freedom to prisoners, very consoling and moving even today. 

    Isaiah 2 is aiming his remarks at the Jewish tribe.  Later, after Jesus has come and died, the gospel writers applied the message to Jesus, saying God had chosen him  to do all the things the Prophet mentioned. Handel takes this approach.

     

    Brady-Cameron

    Brady and Cameron ready to celebrate their 6th Birthday

    Open the Eyes of the Blind?  Me?  I’m blind myself.

    This morning, Folks, I would like to talk about the beautiful lines from Isaiah II, where he tells the people that they are chosen for good things.

    In particular, they are chosen to give sight to the blind and freedom to prisoners.  This is what we are baptized to.

     

    Reid-Trey

    Reid and Trey say, "Guess whose 6th birthday is Thursday."

     

    The message of this passage has motivated me as a Jesuit, as a priest, as a psychotherapist, and in my decision to go to East Africa.  I think to myself, ‘Maybe I can bring a little light and a little freedom to someone.’   Physically not so much as psychologically and spiritually. 

    Trouble is, I constantly discover that I am the blind one or the one more in prison.  I can give you the most recent example. 

     

    Charlotte-family

    As the newest member of our community and a new jewel in our world, Charlotte gets a Cupcake of The Week along with Chloe, Andrew, and Claire.

     

    Rosemary & I have returned to dancing, as some of you probably know. Every Monday night we go to the Senior Center where they specialize in dancing for old geezers.  All types of dancing, ballroom, country western, line, swing, and so on.  And can some of those geezers dance.

    We have met some neat people and we have noticed some special couples.  One couple looks like they are out on their first date.  They always dance close and slowly.

    Emma

    Emma at the beauty parlor, "who is next?"

     

    We saw another couple that had us curious.  The guy was a nice looking elderly guy, slender, and a good dancer.  He looked a little like Colonel Sanders, but without the beard.

    With him and always with him was an attractive young girl, really young like in her late 20’s or 30’s, long black hair and slender figure.  While Rosemary & I will dance 2 or 3 dances and then sit one out, this couple never sits out and they always stay close together. 

     

    Kira

    Kiera says, "Where has this community been all my life?"

     

    Guess what.  My curiosity and speculation level was really high with this couple.  I asked a lady we know one evening and she responds that, yes, the couple is a curiosity for everyone.  All are wondering.  This lady tells us that there is an age minimum to get in, like 50, and she is quite a bit younger than 50.  She should not be there and is only there because he brings her and dances every dance with her.

    They seem quite congenial, dance well together, and pretty much keep to themselves.   Naturally, I am surmising the guy has a young, trophy bride.

     

    Makela

    Makela, Kiera's big sister, arriving full of charm.

     

    Until I happen to ask another lady we know if she knows the couple.  And the story is.  The young girl has recently gotten divorced, is still hurting, and does not want to get married again or even date.  But likes to dance, and knows the guy from somewhere else.

    He, on the other hand, is married, but his wife is not doing well health wise.  He loves to dance and they have all 3 agreed that the husband and the girl go dancing at Farmers’ Branch.  The wife totally supports it. 

    How can I bring sight to the blind when I am so blind myself?  Talk about creating a whole fabric out of superficials.

    To whom are you blind?   How do we get rid of this blindness.

     

    Georgie-Zoe-Torri

    The family, Georgie, Zoe, and Tori.


     

     

  • Sunday Homily, August 2, 18th Ordinary Time

    Readings:

     Exodus 16, 2-4, 12-15,   You had to lead us into this desert to make the whole community die of famine.

    Psalm 78,    The Lord gave them bread from heaven.

    Ephesians 4, 17-24,   You must no longer live as the Gentiles do.

    John 6, 24-35 I am the bread of life. 

     

    Georgie 1
    Georgie says, "Welcome in, Everybody.  Beware, The Old Geezer is back." 

     

    Exodus observations:

    What:

     Exodus is a fun book and a good read.  It comes after Genesis & it has three main sections.

     One – the struggle between stubborn old Pharoah vs Moses & Yahweh.  Pharoah loses.  You can imagine the Passover had a significant impact. 

    Two – the time of wandering in the Sinai desert and the covenant, that is, the 10 Commandments

    Three – the coming into the Promised Land. 

    This all took around 40 years, and so we have stories in-between.  Today’s is one of these, showing Yahweh feeding his grumbling people.

     

    Celeste

    Welcome Home, Celeste.  Celeste, who has played in our music section, has just come in from a year teaching in Hungary, and is departing to spend a year teaching in Albania.  Does the girl love adventure?  

     

    When written:

    Toward the end of the Babylonian Captivity, around 550 before Christ

    Who wrote it:

    Not Moses, but people who lived centuries after this mythical character.  How much of this is historical is a question.  The story greatly encouraged the Jewish people enslaved in Babylon.

     

     

    Sabrina 2


    And welcome home to you, Sabrina.  You did everything for us for years.   Sabrina is returning to the Illinois Institute of Technology for her junior & senior years.

     

     

    Our selection:

    An amusing account of the Jewish people grumbling against Moses.  They say they would prefer to be back in Egypt than in this infernal desert where they are wandering in the heat & sand.  We can sympathize with them in these days of 100’s.  They did not have a/c.   So Yahweh feeds them.  See how.

     

    Morgan

                                 Hi, Morgan, Welcome to you, too.

     

    Kilimanjaro Events and Ragbrai

    This morning I would like to talk about Kilimanjaro events in our lives. Kilimanjaro events give life in ways similar to what John is talking about in the gospel, spirit life.  They are peak events. 

    I choose the word Kilimanjaro because I had the privilege of climbing that mountain in Tanzania 5 times when I lived there.  Each was literally and figuratively a peak event. 

     

    Genevieve 1

       Genevieve says, "I bet you I don't weigh 6 pounds anymore."

     

    A week ago I had another Kilimanjaro event, the week long, 500 mile bike ride across Iowa from the Missouri River to the Mississippi River, with about 15 thousand others.  Iowa or Ragbrai was such a peak experience, full of spiritual life moments.  Let me talk about 3 of them.

    One of my most favorite places to eat dinner in the evening and to get coffee and 4 bananas in the morning was a supermarket called Hy-Vee, the Iowa equivalent to Central Market or Whole Foods.  They had  carbo dinners for Ragbrai.

     

    Payton 2

     

    And Welcome to You, too, Mr. Peighton.  Delightful to have you with us.

     

    When I would ride up to one of these markets, you would not believe what I would see.  Not just hundreds of bikes.  But hundreds of bikes with absolutely no locks or security.  Bikes everywhere, even inside the entrance ways.   The majority of these bikes would start at a $1000 and go up as high as $10,000.  Lots of beauties.

    Trust, folks, this was trust.  I don’t think anybody was afraid of being robbed anywhere, all along the ride and in the villages and towns.    I found this atmosphere of trust so moving.

     

    Payton

    Mr. Peighton, obviously a quick learner, says, "Wake me up when that Old Geezer stops yakking.  Thank you."

     

     

    Secondly, I was moved by the spirit of congeniality among everyone, for example.

    I have a favorite concession where I would stop every afternoon on the road.  Concessions were all along the road, which was dedicated to us.  The concession I love and the only one I regularly stopp at is the Amish homemade pie and ice cream stop, always on the right shoulder of the road and always on the second half of the day’s journey.

     

    Sabrina & candle

    This is way below Sabrina's talent level.  But in honor of all the years she did everything around here, today she gets to light the candles.

     

    On Wednesday I rode up and asked for credit from Henry, the Amish kid who collected the $3 for pie and the $2 for ice cream.  I had forgotten my money that morning.  I knew the only place I needed $5 on the road was the Amish.

    There was a line of people behind me waiting to pay Henry.  As he said yes, the lady behind me popped in and said, “Oh, I can pay for you.  No problem.”  I was most touched, but told her that I would probably never see her again, so I could not pay her back, while I would see Henry the next day.  And Henry chimes in, “Yes, he is here every day, so it is okay.”  The next day, Thursday, I chipped in about $10 as a token of gratitude. 

    This lady touched me with her spirit.

     

    Cupcakes

    2 cupcakes here this morning.  Cathy generously is standing in for her son, Brian, who is celebrating 10 years married.  Mike and Judy are celebrating 51 years married.  And they are from Kiokuk, Iowa.

     

     

    During the homily I added this little memory, which, in fact, made me forget the final point of the homily.  I remembered and shared it after communion.

    In the context of congeniality I talked about what was a group of maybe 20 Air Force bikers.  They not only rode, but they stopped whenever they saw someone down with a flat or a slipped chain.  At one point I rode up and along side of them.  I mentioned 2 things.  I was jealous of their beautiful blue & white bike wear with the white wings on the back & shoulders.  

    I also told them how touched I was at seeing them helping people along the road.  They were super appreciative and called me "Sir" a dozen times.  (Chebino, do you belong to the A.F. Bike Unit?) 

     

      Dawson

     

                               Watch out, Folks, Dawson is 18 years old.

     

    The third Kilimanjaro event.  Friday here in Dallas, on a routine visit to my dermatologist, she asked me what was the biggest event, the most special.  As usual, I even got a bit choked up in telling her. 

    It was just the joy, the exhilaration I experienced in riding, riding with so many congenial people, riding over beautiful green farm lands, passing through achingly beautiful little villages, and all at age 75. 

    What more can a kid look forward to in the summer than to get up, ride his bike all day, and then camp out in his tent at night with friends? 

     

      Cole, Emma, Zoe

             Watch out, Cole, Emma, and Zoe, TI is hiring Whiz Kids.

     

    What is you latest Kilimajaro event? 

    What is your next one? 

    I can tell you my next 2, the Hotter N’ Hell Hundred the last Saturday of August and taking about 10 close friends to Yosemite the first week of September.  Summer is so good.

    You people in this community are a Kilimajaro Event.

    So, your next Kilimanjaro event?

     

    Brent

    Brent, you are a Kilimajaro Event, and we are privileged to be able to support the work you do with Souls Harbor. 

  • Sunday Homily, February 17, 2008, 2nd Lent

    Readings: Genesis 12, 1-4; Psalm 33; 2 Timothy 1, 8-10; Matthew 17, 1-9.

    Genesis: Like last week we have a selection from Genesis.  I mentioned that 5 main characters make up the book, Adam & Eve (& family), Noah, Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob.  Last week we looked at Adam & Eve & how the author thought bad might have entered the world.

    Today we look at how the Jewish people thought their nation came into existence.  Abraham is like George Washington.  He is seen as divinely appointed, just as the people thought they were divinely appointed.  Remember, these events took place ca. 1500 B.C.

    Unpack Your Backpack

    The last two weeks we talked about two secrets to making a marriage relationship successful.  The first secret was Never Divorce, Murder Often, meaning divorce is a non-negociable, while playful murder is healthy.  Divorce is considered only when the three "A’s" enter: abuse, addiction, adultery.

    Tom_z

    Last week we said that there are No Perfect Marriages, only Perfect Moments."  Had any perfect moments this week?  The transfiguration talked about in today’s gospel was a perfect moment.  I would consider the two as synonymous.  Perfect moments are transfigurations.

    Today’s secret: Unpack Your Backpack.

    What does this mean? 

    First, put all your junk out on the ground.  No hidden deals, nothing kept hidden in the backpack.  This junk includes embarrassments, longings, and fears.  Those fears of being rejected, of being stupid and ugly, of heights, of lightning, anything. 

    One thing I don’t encourage people to talk about: previous relatiionships.  My idea is that these relationships are no longer lying around in the backpack.  They were dumped out months or years earlier and only create tension if they are brought out and shared with the person I love now. Nothing is accomplished by talking about previous relationships.  In fact, a certain amount of uncertainty can creep in, especially if the person listening is even slightly insecure.

    Secondly, the hidden package in the backpack.  What is it?  My defenses.  What does it mean. Disarm.  Lay down thy defenses.  Frustrations and annoyances creep into a relationship.  Not dealt with they become sore spots.  I get hurt, get offensive, get hurt again, then get more defensive.  I become crabby & irritable or passive aggressive.  Passive aggressive means I am really mad, aggressively riled up, but show it by not talking.  This can go on for hours, sometimes days.  I can get into this & Rosemary calls me on it.  Which is a gift.

    Occasionally when talking with a couple I find that each one is blaming the other.  Then one will say, "on that occasion, yes, I was passive aggressive."  Or, "Yes, I wanted to hurt you."  When I hear this, I cheer.  The person has just laid down arms. The person has admitted, confessed, let it out of the backpack.  Then a new relationship can begin.

    Thirdly, what about frustrations and irritations that creep into the backpack, like I just talked about and that lead to defensive positions?  Don’t bury them in the backpack.  How do I get a place where I can disarm?  Three steps.

    Denni_z

    • Talk about what is frustrating me or irritating me.  A Behavior?  Driving, eating, neatness, responsibility for house chores, and so on.  Use "I" statements as much as possible instead of "You, you, you" statements that blame.  "I’m uncomfortable when…"  This has to be done not in the heat of the irritation, but later when I am peaceful and the setting is peaceful.
    • Then I can make a request for a change.  "Could we talk about driving?"  "I feel scared when…"
    • Next, acceptance. Some things may not get changed.  Then what?  Dump the relationship or be defensive all my life or accept?  I cannot expect all the behavior changes to be changed.  Thus, I got to change, if I want to have a relationship.  Acceptance of the other has to be part of a relationship, whether between spouses or friends.

    As I mentioned last week this is pertinent to friendships, just as much as marriages.

    With whom do I have this kind of relationship and how am I keeping my backback clean?

    AUDIO: http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2008-02-17.mp3