Sunday Homily June 10, 2012, Corpus Christi

Readings:  

Exodus 24, 3-8, We will do everything the Lord has told us.

Psalm 116, I will take the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.

Hebrews 9, 11-15, The tent in which Christ serves is greater & more perfect. 

Mark 14, 12-16, 22-26, Where do you want us to go & get the Passover meal ready.

Chloe 6-10-12

Chloe, the dancer, in mid-dance

 

Exodus:   8 points on the readings, including 2 on Exodus, 4 on points related to the readings, & 2 more on Exodus

    1.  This is the 2nd book of the Torah/Pentateuch, the first section of the Old Testament.  Deuteronomy, which we visited last week, is the 5th & last book.  Genesis is the first book.    

2.  Story: This is a fabulous and entertaining fable that tells how the Israelites got out of slavery in Egypt with the leadership of Moses. 

    3.  Passover: the night the angel passed over the first born male children of the Jews because they had smeared lamb's blood on their door posts.  But the angel killed all the Egyptian first born sons to make Pharaoh let the people go.  Remember, this is not history, rather like a fable, like Aesop's Fables.  There is a story about the burning bush in the Holy Land, for tourists.  Tourists are told this bush was the bush that burst into flame and from which Yahweh spoke to Moses.

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Remember this Habitat House from the Friday community bulletin? Don't recognize it? This is stage 3, the wall coverings.

    4.  Covenant vs Contract: in a contract two parties agree to do something.  If one fails, the contract is often null.  In a covenant two people agree, and even if one party fails, the other party honors the covenant.  The Covenant between Yahweh & the People:  the people will honor Yahweh as their only god; Yahweh will protect and care for them as his chosen, and bring them into a new land.

    5.  Sacrifice & holocaust: ancient tribal belief that I must offer to my god (s) things precious to me to appease the god's anger or win his favor, for example, with animals, prisoners, and the most beautiful girl in the community.  Jesus was seen as this sacrifice to appease the god, and also as the high priest who usually performed the sacrifice.  Thus the emphasis on blood & death.  Today scripture scholars as well as ordinary folks don't believe any more in a God who was so angry that he demanded special sacrifice.  We do not have a vengeful, angry God.

    6.  12 tribes: the 12 sons of the patriarch Jacob (or Israel; the 3 patiarchs were Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob-Israel).

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Mass with John Ross Sima, working in Peru, and Jack Podsiadlo, running a Nativity Jesuit school in NYC.

    7.  Author & Date of Exodus: not Moses.  Rather a compilation of material from different centuries, that was mostly put together after the Babylonian Captivity, e.g., ca. 550 BCE.

    8.  Our Selection from Exodus: the people have been wandering in the desert and are now being given laws and customs they must observe.  The Covenant is being sealed.

 

T.S.N.O#34

The Mass being celebrated in Bob Baxter's century old family house in New Orleans.

The Eucharist in daily life

Folks, it has been an amazing five weeks of peak human experiences for Rosemary and me, like champagne events.  Two weddings, two reunions, and Andy’s memorial right in the middle week, the one Sunday I have been here in the past five.  Each of these experiences has given me a deeper appreciation of life and friendship. 

Rosemary had her fun family reunion in NJ coupled with the 5 Boro Bike Tour of NY, we along with 33 thousand others. 

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Jerry McCaffery & Jim Miles meeting after many years

The next weekend we celebrated Jessica Bresson’s wedding in CT.  Two weeks ago we celebrated Kate Banzhaf’s wedding in CO Springs. 

Then, last weekend a reunion of the S.J. class with whom I spent the first 7 years of my Jesuit life.  We gathered in New Orleans, my former home office, which in itself was quite emotional.  I love the city, have not been back in over 10 years, and could see all those Katrina scenes from television in my mind.  Many of us spent a lot of time with the refugees who ended up in Reunion Arena.

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Paul Montgommery & his wife, Lilia, and Kathy, Bill Lichliter's wife.

Observations about my class & the reunion.

20 plus guys showed up with their wives. I have to tell you, I did not recognize some of my classmates.  I literally asked a number of the guys, “Who are you?’  Most of us are in our early 70’s. 

 I have not seen the majority since ’65, when we finished up 3 years at Spring Hill College, Mobile.  Most of us were shipping out to various internships around the country.  I lucked out and got to return to Dallas for the first time in 7 years, and I taught at the high school for 3 years, one of the most fun experiences of my life.

As our conversations progressed, I was struck at how each person was at home in their skin.  I saw no posturing or pretense.  These are high octane guys and each has used his talents well as college professors, a doctor, stock brokers, real-estate.  One guys even works for the Atomic Energy Commission in Vienna. 

T.S.N.O#7

Bill Lichliter, now in Vienna, Steve Rodi, now in Austin, TX, and Tony Salcido, now in CA & Brazil

I was deeply touched by the presence of one guy’s gentle but severely handicapped son of about 20 years.  Two of the guys had lost their dear wives recently and their stories brought tears to my eyes. 

I also discovered & appreciated a spiritual depth in everyone.  They are progressive and disappointed with the turning back the clock on Vatican II.  The few who attend Mass do so because they know a priest who talks to where they are at.

One of my favorite questions to ask people, as you know, is what is the special blessing or gift in your life since the last time we met.  This group shared on this level from the start and did it with incredible appreciation. 

Two of the guys are still Jesuit priests, one working in Peru, the other working with Nativity Schools in NYC.  These are Jesuit schools focused primarily on underprivileged boys & girls.

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Collin Classic, in which a bunch of our community rode.

Finally I saw appreciation, of life, of friendship, and of community.  I love these guys and am stunned at how rich it is to be with them.  The group last met 8 years ago and has met maybe 3-4 times, once in Mobile, in Maryland, & I think in Boston.  In appreciation of this renewal of old friendships & my love for them, I plan to invite the group to consider meeting again in two years, same place.  It is already being talked about.

One last point, a Eucharist event.  John Ross Sima, the priest working in Peru, arrived late and made his appearance in the Saturday morning session.   He brought with him a cream cake from Peru.  He cut it up and passed it around to everyone.

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Collin Classic Bike Ride, 8:00 A.M. & departing

I would propose that this is one of the bases of Eucharist: a meal that celebrates our life, our friendship, our love, and, in turn, deepens them.  That’s what we do here.

Your Eucharist?

 

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    Nativity 12-24-13

    The Nativity with Emma (the sheep), Buddy (the camel), Cowboy Cole (Joseph), Zoe (Mary), and at about 3 weeks, Jake (Jesus).

     

    Readings:

    Isaiah 9, 1-6,  The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.

    Psalm 96,  Today is born our Savior, Christ the Lord.

    Titus,  2, 11-14,  The Grace of God has appeared.

    Luke 2, 1-14,   In those days a decree went out from Caesar  Augustus that the whole world should be enrolled.

     

    Nativity B 12-24-13

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    A Christmas Gift

    I want to tell you about a Christmas gift this afternoon.  It is one of my biggest gifts of this season and it came to me yesterday afternoon by surprise.

    In our neighborhood we have alleys behind the lots.  Garbage trucks and service vehicles us the alleys.

     

    Nativity C 12-24-13

    The whole gang.

     

    Once a week on Mondays we are visited by the trash trucks and the recycle trucks.  The trash trucks are all mechanized, so only a driver runs the show.  A mechanical arm grabs the trash can, empties it, and replaces it.

     

    Emmett 12-24-13

    Emmett getting ready for his debut with Marilyn.

    The recycle truck, however, has three people, one driver and two men who empty the recycles into their truck.  I often see the recycle guys because they start the day’s run at our alley and at our house.  We are on the corner.  We wave.

    I got this idea from a guy I helped to do his memorial a few years ago.  He would give a small gift to his mail man and trash collectors.

     

    Jake 12-24-13

    Jesus getting ready, Jake & his mom, Amanda.

    So Monday morning I am watching at 7:00, hoping to give the recycle guys a gift of a few bucks.  They don’t come.  I am afraid I will miss them like I did at Thanksgiving.  So I place a note on the recycle bin.  And I continue to watch.  I can hear them usually, because their big truck makes noise.

     

    Jacob 12-24-13

    Jacob with his mom, Stacie.

     

    Suddenly about 3:00 I hear the truck.  By the time I grab my coat and head out, one of the guys is coming in the back yard, because my note told them to come to the door.   They are friendly as ever.

    I give them each $20.

    This was when my present arrived. 

     

    Joe 12-24-13

    Joe and his family.

     

    Their gratitude.  It was over the top.  They thanked me over and over.  One guy says, “I’m rich, I’m rich.”  They head off down the alley with more thanks and well wishes for a Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

    I was so touched I got choked up when Rosemary asked me how it went.  So small a gift on my part, so great a gift to me on their part.

    Want to receive a gift like this?  When are you going to do it?

     

    Cole Carey 12-24-13

    One of Ours, Cole Carey, Corporal, USMC, lighting the 4 candles.

     

  • Sunday Homily, February 17, 2008, 2nd Lent

    Readings: Genesis 12, 1-4; Psalm 33; 2 Timothy 1, 8-10; Matthew 17, 1-9.

    Genesis: Like last week we have a selection from Genesis.  I mentioned that 5 main characters make up the book, Adam & Eve (& family), Noah, Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob.  Last week we looked at Adam & Eve & how the author thought bad might have entered the world.

    Today we look at how the Jewish people thought their nation came into existence.  Abraham is like George Washington.  He is seen as divinely appointed, just as the people thought they were divinely appointed.  Remember, these events took place ca. 1500 B.C.

    Unpack Your Backpack

    The last two weeks we talked about two secrets to making a marriage relationship successful.  The first secret was Never Divorce, Murder Often, meaning divorce is a non-negociable, while playful murder is healthy.  Divorce is considered only when the three "A’s" enter: abuse, addiction, adultery.

    Tom_z

    Last week we said that there are No Perfect Marriages, only Perfect Moments."  Had any perfect moments this week?  The transfiguration talked about in today’s gospel was a perfect moment.  I would consider the two as synonymous.  Perfect moments are transfigurations.

    Today’s secret: Unpack Your Backpack.

    What does this mean? 

    First, put all your junk out on the ground.  No hidden deals, nothing kept hidden in the backpack.  This junk includes embarrassments, longings, and fears.  Those fears of being rejected, of being stupid and ugly, of heights, of lightning, anything. 

    One thing I don’t encourage people to talk about: previous relatiionships.  My idea is that these relationships are no longer lying around in the backpack.  They were dumped out months or years earlier and only create tension if they are brought out and shared with the person I love now. Nothing is accomplished by talking about previous relationships.  In fact, a certain amount of uncertainty can creep in, especially if the person listening is even slightly insecure.

    Secondly, the hidden package in the backpack.  What is it?  My defenses.  What does it mean. Disarm.  Lay down thy defenses.  Frustrations and annoyances creep into a relationship.  Not dealt with they become sore spots.  I get hurt, get offensive, get hurt again, then get more defensive.  I become crabby & irritable or passive aggressive.  Passive aggressive means I am really mad, aggressively riled up, but show it by not talking.  This can go on for hours, sometimes days.  I can get into this & Rosemary calls me on it.  Which is a gift.

    Occasionally when talking with a couple I find that each one is blaming the other.  Then one will say, "on that occasion, yes, I was passive aggressive."  Or, "Yes, I wanted to hurt you."  When I hear this, I cheer.  The person has just laid down arms. The person has admitted, confessed, let it out of the backpack.  Then a new relationship can begin.

    Thirdly, what about frustrations and irritations that creep into the backpack, like I just talked about and that lead to defensive positions?  Don’t bury them in the backpack.  How do I get a place where I can disarm?  Three steps.

    Denni_z

    • Talk about what is frustrating me or irritating me.  A Behavior?  Driving, eating, neatness, responsibility for house chores, and so on.  Use "I" statements as much as possible instead of "You, you, you" statements that blame.  "I’m uncomfortable when…"  This has to be done not in the heat of the irritation, but later when I am peaceful and the setting is peaceful.
    • Then I can make a request for a change.  "Could we talk about driving?"  "I feel scared when…"
    • Next, acceptance. Some things may not get changed.  Then what?  Dump the relationship or be defensive all my life or accept?  I cannot expect all the behavior changes to be changed.  Thus, I got to change, if I want to have a relationship.  Acceptance of the other has to be part of a relationship, whether between spouses or friends.

    As I mentioned last week this is pertinent to friendships, just as much as marriages.

    With whom do I have this kind of relationship and how am I keeping my backback clean?

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  • Sunday Homily, April 3, 2016, 2nd Sunday Easter C

    Readings:

    Acts  5, 12-16,  Many signs and wonders were done among the people.

    Psalm 118,  Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting

    Revelation  1, 9-19, I was caught up in spirit on the Lord’s day.

    John 20, 19-31,  Thomas, “Unless I see the mark of the nails.   

     

    Harper 1

     

    Harper says, "Hi, Everybody, Welcome in."

     

     

     Acts observations:  I won’t bore you every Sunday for the next six with these same observations.  I thought I would mention them because you may have missed them Easter Sunday with all that was going on.  Periodically I will remind you of the basics.

    Date:  sometime before the year 70.  Why?  No mention of the destruction of Jerusalem, which took place the year 70, a Big Date in Jewish history.

     

    Gen 1

    Genevieve, too, says, "Hi, Folks, come in."

     

    Who:  The same person who wrote the Gospel of Luke.  How do we know?  Similarities of style, language (Greek), and theological themes.

    Subject:  The story of the expansion of the Jesus story in 3 areas, first, Jerusalem, then, Palestine or the Holy Land, and finally, into the Mediterranean and ultimately, Rome.

    Today’s Subject: a description of the growth & expansion within the first area, Jerusalem. 

    Sources: Good News Bible, The New Interpreter’s Study Bible, Wikipedia

     

    Cath

    Hi, Cathy, and welcome to you, too.  Thanks for bringing Harper.

     

    New Life Next Weekend

    Next Sunday when you all come together here I will be getting together with my former Jesuit classmates in the beautiful college chapel at Spring Hill College in Mobile, Alabama.  We guys spent the 5th, 6th, and 7th years of our training at Spring Hill. 

    It is class reunion time this weekend and about 8 of us gathered last year for the same event.  This year the alumni board is making a big deal out of us and is inviting all the ex and present Jesuits who got degrees at Spring Hill to special recognition.  There could be hundreds.

     

    Leo & Candle

    Leo, the Candle Lighter, at work on the Easter Candle.

     

    When I was there we had about 150 guys residing in Assumption Hall, which has been since demolished and replace with smaller units of student housing. 

    I would like to make 4 observations on the uniqueness of this group of guys.

     

    Ladies

    You never know what you will find out on April 1.  The Juliets.

     

    First, all joined up to be Jesuit priests despite the 10-14 years of training involved.  Some entered out of college, others, like myself, entered out of high school.  I got the full 14 years of training, which at the time was not too bad.  It was broken up into 3 & 4 year goals.

    Secondly, all these guys became well educated, whether in the Jesuits or after leaving.  Lots of the guys taught in schools and universities.  They were a pretty progressive group, interested in service, usually to the poor.  All would have made good priests and good contributors to the numerous Jesuit high schools, universities, parishes, and retreat houses.  In my early years there were 35,000 Jesuits just in the U.S. 

     

    Nora 3

    Welcome, Nora, into our special Catholic Family.

     

    Thirdly, in my class there is and has been a love of reuniting to see how everyone is doing.  There is a comfort zone and guys are willing to share pretty important parts of their lives.

    I remember a reunion maybe 3-4 years ago in New Orleans.  One of my buddies, Bill, who had cared for his wife for some years before she died of cancer was there.  I had not seen him or talked with him since she had died.  I was sitting in the group where we were talking about where each of us was at. 

     

    Nora 1

    Tom and Denni with their just baptized grandbaby.

     

     

    Bill had not said anything.  I remember debating within myself.  But I am used to asking these questions.  Finally I simply asked him would he be willing to share how it was to care for and lose his wife.  We were all in tears.

    In Wernersville, PA there is a large Jesuit retreat house & novitiate.  Every summer a reunion of some 50 or more Jesuit & ex-Jesuit classmates gather for a weekend.   I just found out about this from one of my classmates from the east.  I plan to go some summer in the future.

    These reunions are just among Jesuits.  There is a large, more formal group called Corpus.  These guys seem to be mostly ex-diocesan priests.

    John Cade, any Carmelite groups?

     

    Nora 2

    Who are all these people, Nora?  Why, that is you granddad, Tom, your sister, Charlotte, your grandmommy, Denni, your big sister,  Chloe, your mommy, Claire, and your daddy, Andrew.

     

    Final observation.  Do you realize that within the next 30 years these groups will all disappear?  We have here a unique sample of the population, ex-priests and ex-seminarians.   They all wanted to be priests.   They all wanted to be married.    Because of Vatican II in the ‘60s, they decided remaining celibate was not healthy for them.  Shortly the whole group will pass on.

    A little slice of history for you today, folks.  

     

    Nora 4

    Nora, you are beautiful and perfect.  Welcome into our world.  

  • Sunday Homily, August 4, 2019, 18th Ordinary Time

     

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    From Jim & John, "Welcome in, Everybody." 

     

    Readings:

    Ecclesiastes, 1,2; 2, 21-23,  Pretty pessimistic.  Author having a bad day?

    Psalm 90, If today you hear his voice, harden not you hearts.  

    Colossians 3, 1-5, 9-11,  Think of what is above, not of what is on earth

    Luke 12, 13-21,  There was a rich man

     

    IMG_8201

     

    So good to have you back, Dee, especially looking so good.

     

    The First reading from Ecclesiastes reminds us that when a person passes he or she can’t take any of their worldly things with them.

    Our Second reading from Paul’s Letter to the Colossians reminds us that greed is idolatry; for it is a love of wealth; rather than a love of God.

     

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    Good Morning, Patricia!

     

    Homily on the Gospel reading:

     

    Here in Chapter 12 of Luke, a nondescript man comes to Jesus seeking a favorable decision regarding some inheritance that he is hoping to receive from his older brother. Jesus used this event to address the crowd with the wisdom to be on guard against all forms of greed.

     

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    Watch out for this crazy guy, Everybody.  I knew him way back when he was a nice little high school, kid.

     

    Following Jesus’ advice the older brother has put their extended family in mind.  He will not allow himself or his younger brother to fail in their responsibility to put their extended family ahead of their desire for possessions.   The older brother had taken a course of action to enhance the harvest from their father’s land.

     

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    Three of the Candle Lighting Team, Zoe, Tori, & Georgie.

     

    Now, there is nothing more in Luke’s chapter 12 about the relationship between the younger man and his older brother; however Luke has no intention of forgetting about them!  Each of the gospels form two complementary stories.   We will encounter the brothers again in a chapter 15! There, the younger son said to his father, “give me the share of the inheritance that would come to me.  The father divided the inheritance between them…and a few days later the younger brother took his inheritance with him to a foreign land where he squandered it on riotous living.

     

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    Mike homilizing on the Luke gospel.

     

    Recall that when the prodigal son came home asking to be forgiven, the story did not end. Is there a story like this in your immediate family? Harden not your hearts.

     

     

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    Married life: carry your cross??

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Sunday, January 10, 2021, Baptism of the Lord

    Isaiah 55, 1-11, All you who are thirsty, come to the water.  (Beautiful reading, one of Isaiah's best)

    Psalm. Isaiah 22, You will draw water joyfully, from the springs of salvation.

    1 John 5, 1-9, Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God

    Mark 1, 7-11, One mightier than I is coming.

     

    Snoopy 4

     

     

    Thanks to the Team

    Music,  Ben & Shonda

    Readers,   Mary Jane & John, and Buddy, the candle blesser

    Gospel,  John Cade

    Homily,   John Stack

    Eucharistic Prayer A & B, Stack & John Cade

    The Magic Zoom makers,   Hue & Richard & Mike 

    Final Blessing, Rosemary

    For hosting us at Legacy, Becky

     

    Readings:

    Download Reading 1-10-2021

     

     

    Homily by John Stack

    Download Homily for January 10 2021

     

     

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    Mike, The Person of The Year with Hue.

     

    Please Remember these special people:

    For Carrie's ex, Larry;  For Alan Stryker;  For Joe Sullivan;    For Rosemary's great niece, Rylie ;  For Richard's grand daughter, Madeleine; For Sheila Schultz Alverez hospitalized with Corona;  For Esparza's new great grandson baby, son of Monique;  For all the medical personnel struggling to treat the tsunami of sick people, in particular, locally, Cindy's staff at Presby, Dallas, and at Frisco Presby, the mother of Harper and Betsy, Kendle, working in labor & delivery, and for Hue & Linda's daughter, Doctor Rosemary Beavers;   For Mary & Dave Hall's g-daughter Allison Keller working at St. Lukes, The Woodlands,   For Loretta's aunt Alicia;  For Sir Charlie & Jan;  Shonda's mom & Cody & Ben & Leo & all of Shonda's dear family;

     

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    Our Person of the Year Ascending

     

    Jackie's mom, sister, & friend, Lynn;  For both Jean & Cliff Wright;  For Rick Turner searching for a kidney donor, Type O neg; For Meredith, cancer free;    For John O'Donnell & Jean & their daughter, Molly;   For Dee, and for her daughter, Lisa; For John Schanot's continued health;  For Anthony & Sabrina;    For a young man who is suffering from depression;  John Cade's mother in law, Kalliopi Piskiouli and Lambrini, plus John's daughter, Joey, with cancer; from Barbara, a little 4 month old boy undergoing an operation & for Rollie with Corona; for the medical staffs, teachers, and coaches in our public & private schools.

     

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    Remembering…

     

    Birthdays: Jan Keszler, Doug Kite 62, The Quads 13

    Anniversary:  Mabel Ekes, 61st, Jackie & Rick, 20th,

     

    Community Finances, January 3, 2021

    Expenses: $ 680.00

    Outreach   $ 490.00  (often for Souls Harbor, Legacy, etc.)

    Thanks again, Folks, for doing what you can.

     

    Path 1

     

    Peace.

     

    Rosemary's Blessing

    Loving God,

    As I journey into the unknown territory of a new year…

    As I hurt in the process of loving those I dislike or find difficult…

    As I learn to accept my strengths, weaknesses and mistakes…

    As I keep searching for the truth in times of confusion, doubt and conflict…

    As I try to be a voice for the voiceless and powerless…

    As I strive to live and witness your inclusive love, compassion, forgiveness, justice and peace…

    As I do the work of the Christmas message and make Christ visible to others…

    Walk closely with me, my God.

     

    Taken from A New Year’s Prayer by Sister Jean Amore CSJ, Principal, Sacred Heart Academy, Hempstead, NY

     

  • Sunday Homily 8-23-09, 21st Ordinary Time

    Joshua 24, 1-18; Psalm 34, Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord; Ephesians 5, 21-32 ; John 6, 60-69.

    Joshua:

    Who is Joshua and what is this booklet about:  Joshua was Moses' assistant, his lieutenant when the the Israelites wandered in the desert.  The booklet is the story of the Israelite invasion of Canaan under Joshua's leadership. 

    Mass 8-23-09

    Author: somewhat amusingly, the fundamentalists say that Joshua wrote most of the booklet.  More scientific scholars say the work is a compilation of a number of sources.

    Date of composition: again fundamentalists state that the booklet was composed 1400-1370, i.e., while Joshua lived.  Scholars of a broader vision suggest that even if a Joshua existed the work was put together 800-700 BCE. 

    The work combines a number of traditions about battles & destruction of cities to create a nationalistic narrative that justifies the Israelites' taking another peoples' land for their own.  Like kids say, 'He made me do it.'  Here the Israelites are saying, 'Yahweh made me do it.'

    Ethical Question: genocide.  This is a bloody book.  Yahweh commands that the Israelites exterminate every breathing thing, including women & children & livestock. 

    The battle of Jericho is characteristic.  For 6 days the Israelites marched around the city, blowing horns and menacing the people.  On day 7 they marched around 7 times and the walls came tumbling down, as in the spiritual.  Then every person except one woman & her family were slaughtered.  Lots of debate and rationalization over these events.

    Our Selection: The last chapter of the booklet.  Joshua, who is dying, calls the people together at a place called Sechem and puts it to them.  Stick with Yahweh who has done all these things for you (which are mentioned in the text but are long & tedious) or choose another path of your own.

    Sources: Good News Bible, Got Questions.org, Wikipedia

    Choir 8-23-09

    Ephesians:  Got to say a word about this selection because it involves some pretty amusing observations from Paul.  For instance, the famous statements, "Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord."  "The husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church."

    Some years ago while I was waiting in a line to ride the roller coaster at 6 Flags I overheard a husband telling his wife to obey him because of this passage.  I almost dropped my teeth.

    Some perspective: Traditionally there are three types of relationships.

        1.  Matriarchal: the woman/wife is the head of the family.  Culturally this has been established.

        2.  Patriarchal: the husband is the head. 

        3.  Equality: both are partners, husband and wife. 

    Paul's place: guess which paradigm Paul comes from?  Paul lives in a culture which considered women & children little more than domestic animals.  In Tanzania I found the same paradigm among the ordinary people.  Even though today Paul can sound wako & chauvanistic, what he says about husbands loving their wives as they love their own bodies, this was pretty radical.

    Today: all three of the paradigms are valid.  Among most educated people, however, equality between husband & wife, men & women is the most healthy for all involved.

    Peter 8-23-09

    Peter McGinn, 1948-2009

    It was mid February when Rosemary first got word that Peter her brother was infected with amiloidosis, a rare and virulent infection that strikes mostly men 60-65.  Peter was 60. 

    It was mid March, after enduring a menu of chemo for a month, that Peter & his wife Marilyn decided to go recuperate at their house in Hilton Head, in a plantation near to Joe & Clare, Rosemary's sister & brother in law.  We decided at the last minute to fly over there to see Peter, it being easier than to visit him in Binghamton, NY.  This was the last time we would see him. 

    He died this past Monday morning after finding out that the amiloidosis had begun to attack his lungs, that he could not endure a heart transplant, and that he was simply being kept alive by meds & machines.  After visiting with his two adult daughters & Marilyn Saturday evening and Sunday morning, Peter chose to cease all meds and machine aids that Sunday afternoon.  About 15 hours later he died peacefully. 

    I wanted to speak about him because of at least three reasons I admired him and felt quite a kinship, not just of family, but of spirit. 

    First, his love of psychology & intelligent spirituality.  He got his doctorate in psych at Johns Hopkins and used it in creative ways.  He was the CEO of United Health Services.  He was the kind of CEO who would eat in the hospital cafeteria, asking random groups, like the nursing staff or the maintenance staff if he might join them for lunch.

    As a psychologist he was a teacher & a systems man.  In fact, I used to laugh.  He would send me articles each month.  And he asked me to review his latest book.  I would read a title like 'Ways to facilitate communication with your board.'  I open the article and he had 23 points.  I would send him a note saying, "Too much."  As you know, I lean toward systems myself, but after 3 or 4 I am exhausted. 

    Secondly, I loved Peter because he was a biker.  A bicycle rider.  In fact, we had planned a bike ride in Hilton Head which he could not manage because he was too weak.  This was only symptomatic of his dedication to being a well rounded man, a renaissance man like we used to try to model ourselves in the Jesuits.  He was intellectually & physically, psychologically & spiritual balanced.  I see it as the basis for his peace and acceptance of his ultimate path.

    Thirdly, he taught a platinum rule.  Not just the golden rule, which says, 'treat others as you would have them treat you.'  The platinum rule is, 'Treat others as they would like to be treated."  He had 23 reason why this was more effective. 

    Significantly, according to what I'm told, he practiced the platinum rule even in the hours after he had ceased life support.  As doctors & staff stopped by his room, he thanked each one, mentioning how they had touched him. 

    Tomorrow morning, Monday, Rosemary & I will attend a family only memorial in Binghamton.  A month from now a large open to all his friends memorial will be scheduled and we will attend. 

    Who is the Peter McGinn in your life?

    Peter 2, 8-23-09

    Picture 1:  Mass with Kevin & T.J.

    Picture 2:  Choir, Wendy, Ray, & Celeste

    Picture 3:  Peter McGinn

    Picture 4:  Peter McGinn–

    The two charities that Dad favored in lieu of flowers are Seva and the Food Bank of the Southern Tier.  They are both online, Seva.org, and foodbankst.orgRosemary T. McGinn

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