Sunday Homily, December 29, 2013, Holy Family
Readings:
Sirach 3, 2-6, 12-14, My son, take care of your father when he is old.
Psalm 128, Blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways.
Colossians 3, 12-21, Wives, be subordinate to your husbands.
Matthew 2, 13-15, 19-23, Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt and stay there until I tell you.
Sirach observations:
What. One of those 12 odd books, neither in the Old nor the New Testament. A book with wise little sayings & vingettes.
Examples: Be humble in everything you do, 3, 17. Stubborness will get you into trouble, 3, 26. If you are polite and courteous, you will enjoy the friendship of many, 6, 5. A father who loves his son will whip him often, 30, 1. A woman has to take any man as a husband, but a man must choose his wife carefully, 36, 21.
Who. Sirach is the father of a man names Joshua (or Jesus) who wrote & compiled these saying.
When. Composed around 200 years before Christ, maybe.
Colossians observations:
Get ready, this is a good one. Especially for wives.
Paradigmes for Families
I remember way back when Rosemary and I had been married a while, I told her one day that I thought this special line from the Bible was my new favorite line. “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands.” Sounded good to me.
You know what I got, the look, the dog kennel look, the look that said, ‘There is a vacancy in the dog kennel in the back yard, bubba.’ So much for my new favorite line.
We have one of the classic lines in Scripture here this morning. “Wives,be subordinate to your husbands.” I would like to talk about this.
I also remember one afternoon I was in line to ride the roller coaster or something at 6 Flags. Ahead of me was a family, husband and wife with maybe two or three kids. The couple were discussing two sides of some decision. Then I heard the husband tell the wife that she should follow his opinion, because…. You know what he said. I almost passed out. I did not realize that contemporary, educated, middle class folks followed this just because it says it in the Bible.
Let me offer some perspective, a little history and the 3 models of family dynamics.
Historically, remember that the writer of the line lived not in the Middle Ages, but way before that. Women were not considered equal to men in any way. I saw this in East Africa when I lived there. The man was the head and the wife, kids, and farm animals were all more or less on the same level.
You may see the same phenomenon today. Where? Try Afghanistan or among many Arab or Muslim countries. Women have no rights and are certainly not considered equal to men. Because of this, women can be beaten like a child or abused with hardly any consequence. The old dictum held, ‘A good beating never hurt anyone.’
The writer of this letter saw this and spoke to it. Not only does he speak to the wife, he also speaks to the husband, “Husbands, love your wives.” Pretty unique stuff for those days. Wives, in other words, are human beings, not property to be told how to dress and behave.
Finally, let me remind you of the 3 models of family dynamics.
First, you have the patriarchy. The father is the head, which today’s writer is aware of. And accepts.
Secondly, you have the matriarchy, the wife is the head of the family. This model has been used over the centuries in various places.
Thirdly, you have equality. This model has more traction today because women and men are equally educated and often equally talented. In this family the husband and wife share responsibility and consult with each other.
It is not so much that one model is better than the other. Which model works?
There are days when I am convinced that Rosemary and I have a matriarchy.
What works for you?