Sunday Homily for November 11, 2018, 32nd, Ordinary Time

Readings: 1 Samuel 16, 1-13; Psalm 23; Ephesians 5, 8-14; John 9, 1-41.

Samuel: Another huge jump from last week when we were in the desert with Moses after the exodus from Egypt, which itself was a big jump from the story of Abraham’s call in Genesis.  This book of Samuel is the first big book after the Pentatuch, the first 5 books of the Old Testament.  The book chronicles the shift among the Hebrews from a judge leader to a king.  The big characters: Samuel, the last great judge, Saul, the first king, and the fabulous King David.

Today’s selection tells how Samuel found and choose David to someday be The Man.

Marriage # 5: The Art of Giving

At the prospect of marriage, I was told by you can imagine whom, "Stack, you’ve had it easy all your life in the Jesuits.  You don’t know how hard marriage is and how much you will have to give up."   It was enough to scare me into bailing out.  It seemed like it was going to be all give and no get.  Now I’ve been married 3 years, that’s what it has been.

Actually, as you all know so well, it has been all gift.  Never the less, the event of giving is essential to the art of marriage.  I’m learning more about this every day.  I see at least three ways the giving takes place.  There may be more, but let me talk about words, listening, and touch.

I am surprised how easy it is to get out of the habit I was trained in as a kid and as a Jesuit to mention two simple phrases.  "Please," for one.  I can so easily simply say, "Would you do this," or "Would you get this for me?"  It seems polite to me, but it does not quite cut it.  It may be polite, but the "please" makes the difference.  It is courtesy.

Secondly, "thanks."  I am impressed in my dealing with couples how often "thanks" has fallen out of usage.  In my mind I assume Rosemary knows I am grateful.  Often it may be some small thing, like moving so I can pass by.  Temptation: walk by saying nothing.  A trap, a lack of courtesy. 

There is a third set of words that needs to be heard, therefore spoken a number of times a day.  How often do we hear of someone who has lost a loved one and regrets this was not said before parting, "I love you."  If it is not said, I don’t know it for sure.  My confidence & my security in my relationship is enriched by hearing "I love you."

Besides words playing a role in the art of marriage, the flip is true: listening.  This may be hard.  I’m reading the sports page, I’m listening to Garrison Keilor and Rosemary says something.  Curses.  I better listen up or I’ve had it.  Listening itself has verbal & non verbal parts. 

Verbal means more than hearing.  It means listeningto what is being said.  Very difficult sometimes.  Non verbal involves listening to the body language.  Some body language is obvious: a slammed door, a book thrown, silence.  Other body language is more subtle, a sadness, a distance, a reluctance to talk.  What’s up?  I notice–fill in the blank—.  If it is obvious, maybe some real listening is in order.  If it is subtle, ask an open ended question, like, "How are you doing."  Not, "You feel bad/good?"  Closed ended questions get off with an answer of yes or no.  Open ended questions involve explanation.

Finally, the art of marriage involves touch.  Hugs to start with.  I have a great hunger for hugs, as you all know.  Balm for the spirit.  Besides hugs, however, the gift of touch involves all sorts of little contacts, with hands, a finger, a foot, an elbow.  A hand on the arm.  Granted, some people don’t like this much touch.  Beware of the buddy, buddy arm around my shoulder.

Oh, there is a fourth.  Rosemary says to remind the guys, "Remember, diamonds are a girl’s best friend."  Can someone help me with this?  Who doubted I would be better off married?

How does word, listening, touch play a role in the art of your marriage (friendship)?

AUDIO:  http://mysite.verizon.net/reso7rjy/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/2008-03-02.mp3

 

Readings: 2 Samuel 7, 1-5, 8-16, The Lord said to King David, 'Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever;' Psalm 89, Forever I will sing the goodness of the Lord; Romans 16, 25-27, To him who can strengthen you be glory; Luke 1, 26-38, The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a virgin.   

 4th Sunday of Advent

Mary is told in our gospel reading that she is to give birth to the Messiah, the Christ. She asks the messenger from God how this could possibly happen. ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.’ With astonishing faith she replies, ‘May it be done to me according to your word.’

As John the Baptist (the messenger of the past two Sunday liturgies) baptized the people in water, they acknowledged their sins. Then he tells them, ‘Christ will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.’ So that the Holy Spirit will come upon us.

How will this happen?  When we welcome and put into practice Christ’s words we are bathing in the Holy Spirit.  The inspired writers of the John gospel tell us that Christ’s words are living waters that satisfy our spiritual thirst by filling our hearts with the Holy Spirit. 

It is through the power of the Spirit, Christ is alive in the hearts of those who live his words!  Then, all Christians together, Jew or gentile, man or woman, free man or slave, in union with Christ become what the Apostle Paul calls the body of Christ.  As one body we all share in the mission of Christ in the world.

In the Mark gospel we are told that together with Christ we are the one loaf that is blessed and broken, for we have become the word and bread we have consumed.  The acceptance of being broken is the tough part; but there is no other way to feed the other unless we give of ourselves in and with Christ.

A few weeks ago Judy and I watched a DVD she had ordered from Netflix. It was a French film in black and white with captions in English.  The film came out in 1987 and was directed by Louis Malle [Louie Mall].  The title of the movie in English was ‘Goodbye Children,’ however after watching the film I realized the title really was to be understood as ‘Goodbye Childhood.’  

The basis of the film was what Louis Malle experienced when he was eleven years old while he was attending a Provincial Catholic Boarding school on the grounds of a Carmelite monastery during the German occupation of France. It was 1944.  When France was liberated in December of that year the children had been pushed out of their childhood into adulthood.

The film begins with the children returning from their wealthy French families after Christmas vacation to the boarding school.  Soon after, Fr. Jacob the Carmelite priest at the school introduces three new pupils to the boys.  The boys are unaware that the three new students are Jews, that Fr. Jacob is the leader within the faculty who are joined to an underground network of Christians across France to save the Jews.

Fr. Jacob has given the three boys gentile names hoping that he can keep them hidden and alive until the Germans are pushed out of France.  A few months now pass with the three new boys fitting in rather well.  A classmate from the school, Julien, befriends one of the Jewish boys.  A few things unexpectedly happen, including Julien hearing his friend praying in Hebrew one evening.  (The Jewish boys do everything the Catholic boys are doing, including going to Mass.)  

The school has a parent day in the fall at which Fr. Jacob gives a homily on social justice directed toward the rich parents attending Mass with their boys.  The three Jewish boys are in attendance by themselves.  The friend of Julien is moved by the Priest’s words (from the spoken Word) and enters the line with the Catholics to receive communion.  Julien is next to him as the Jewish boy sticks out his tongue waiting for the priest to place a host on it.

I am as intent on seeing what happens as is Fr. Jacob, Julien and the young Jewish boy.  (The Jewish boy has a different understanding now of why Fr. Jacob and other Christians are risking their lives for the Jews…at any time Fr. Jacob could literally become ‘bread broken’ for him…taken and killed by the Germans by hiding him.  

Fr. Jacob does not place the host on his tongue, but his mere presence to the Jewish boy is bread blessed and broken. The boy seems a bit surprised not have received the host but peaceful in his presence among these Christians. There is a moment of quiet as the priest moves on to Julien who will only later become aware of what has really happened.  Julian, however, is now aware that not only is the boy is a Jew, but that Fr. Jacob is well aware of it.

Another icon of the Church in the world that you are probably not aware of might now become apparent to you as the season of Advent is about to end: the Christ child in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.  For the strips of linen are burial attire—As Church we are the Suffering Servant and Lamb of God to which we show our gratitude believing through the sacraments of Christ’s words and actions that our sins have been forgiven…and our responsibility to also forgive the contrite of heart. The manger is a feeding trough.  Blessed, we gather together in thanksgiving each week to consume the essence in the Liturgy of the word and Eucharist with conviction to become the bread we eat.

A kitchen worker is fired by Fr. Jacob, after the priest becomes aware that the worker was selling some of their food in the black-market. (Those watching the film can sense a coming betrayal.) The Germans have somehow become aware of the three additional students in the school.  Julien had seen his friend’s name partially erased from the inside cover of one of the books that he had brought with him. When one of the German’s asked for that person to stand, Julien glanced at his friend.  The German had noticed what he had done.

Later, the courtyard was filled with the boys standing in lines facing the Germans, who take with them their Science teacher and his family, Fr. Jacob and the three boys who are Jews.  The boarding school boys tearfully called after Fr. Jacob, ‘Goodbye Fr. Jacob.’  Fr. Jacob calls back to them, ‘Goodbye Children.’ 

The children had been pulled from childhood into adulthood in the tragic awakening of man’s inhumanity toward one of their teachers and his family, their priest and three of their classmates.  Later they would come to know what it means to become the Bread we eat…It is in dying to self by showing goodness and justice to others that one is born to eternal life.

The Science teacher and his family and the three boys were gassed to death upon arriving at Auschwitz.   Fr. Jacob was sent to a concentration camp in Austria where a few months later he died after the Americans forces had taken control of the camp.

When we see some of the children of this community wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger on Christmas Eve, recall the significance of what that represents: We have been baptized in the Holy Spirit to be Word and Bread, blessed and broken.

Picture 1:    The Team, John, Mike, & Kevin

Picture 2:    Ryan lights the candles with Jim & Michelle, his dad & mom 

Picture 3:    Penitential Rite, people, "Please forgive me."  Jan & Charlie

Picture 4:    Penitential Rite, minister, "I forgive you.  I accept you. Peace." Mabel & Mike

Picture 5:    Cole with his mom & dad, Erin & Chuck

Picture 6:    Sean 

Picture 7:    Emma

Picture 8:    The Gang, Judy, Marilyn, Chuck, Sandra, & Geri

 

 

 

 

 

 

Greetings from Yosemite, Hoover Wilderness, and Matterhorn Canyon.   Departure Moment.   All say "Hi" and "Welcome," Beth, Andy, Rose, Tom, an Old Geezer, Paul & Carrie, Matt & Ray, son & dad.

 

 

Readings:

Sirach,   27, 30-28, 7    Wrath & anger are hateful things

Psalm 103,   The Lord is gracious and merciful, never gets angry, and is abounding in love. (that marvelous line again!)

Romans 14, 7-9,  None of us lives for oneself.

Matthew 18, 21-35,  The gracious king and the abusive servant.

 

 

 

Tori says, "Welcome Home, all you Campers."

 

Observations on Sirach

What: a collection of wisdom statements or ethics, like 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'   Lengthy, 51 chapters.

Who:  composed by a Jewish scribe in Hebrew and translated into Greek by his grandson, probably in Alexandria, Egypt.

When:  ca. 200 yours before Christ.

Subject today: Beware of hatred & Anger.

 

 

 

Harper says, "May I go the next time you go camping?"

 

 

Cura Personalis or caring for another

I would like to talk this morning about an old ethical concept we were trained up on as Jesuits, cura personalis, in Latin, which means taking care of the other in my life. 

For years I have been trying to take care of my fellow campers on our voyages to Yosemite and elsewhere.  This past trip my fellow campers took care of me.

 

 

 

Trey & Brady, our Candle Lighters of The Week.

 

 

For example, we had a new guy this year, Matt Occhipinti.  Yes, Ray & Claire’s son.  For me he was a wild card, an unknown, consequently, scary.  Like can he do the hike or will he melt down.  And then what?

Well, not only did Matt not melt down he was a great camper, hiker, and especially a helper around the camp sites.  Like I saw him frequently hauling water up from the river or lake to fill our water purification bladder.  I thank him.

 

 

 

So what do you do when you finally arrive at the 11k plus Burrow Pass to find that the trail going steeply down the other side is covered by a huge mass of left over snow?   Yes, Harper, you slide.

 

I also thank Ray, not only for bringing Matt, but also for being our evening dinner cook and our morning hot water maker.   It is so nice to crawl out of my sleeping bag in 38 degree temp to find hot water prepared for coffee or oat meal.  Thanks again, Ray.

Cura personalis also came from Paul & Carrie, not only for each other, but even for me!  They watched my back and helped me up some big boulder steps. They saved me a tent site and helped me set up my tent one evening when I arrived pretty exhausted. I watched them, too, folks, and can let you know, as I told them, their relationship is made in heaven and they have many happy days ahead of them because they care for each other so well, especially by listening to each other.  Thanks, Paul & Carrie.

 

 

 

Buddy & Georgie, would you like to go for a slide on the snow?

 

Then I was so touched by two monster helpers, our Tom Fleming and Andy Sokoloski.  One day, believe it or not, Beth, Rose, and myself took a spur trail and got lost for about an hour.  We have walkie talkies and radioed ahead.  Next thing, Tom and Andy come striding to our rescue.  Tom even takes my back pack until we catch the others who were waiting for us.  Thanks, Tom.

Andy also saved me numerous times with his stream crossing sandals.   The past years the streams have always been low.  So I don’t bring my sandals.  Stupid!   I borrowed Andy’s sandals 8-10 times.  Thanks, Andy.

 

 

 

Want to take a snow slide with me, Cory & Shonda?  

 

 

And then there is Beth.  First of all, as always she comes out of her tent in the cold morning before sun is up all smiles and cheer.  What a joy.  But she also did something for me that I reflected had never happened in all the many years I have camped in Tanzania & Kenya, with the Jesuits, and now with our people. 

As I walked into camp late one afternoon, Beth, asks me if I would like help putting up my tent.  I was so touched.  Sure thing, I accepted.  She even did it twice and probably set an example such that Paul & Carrie made the same offer our last night in the wilderness.  I also know you carried some of my food stuff.  Thanks, Beth.

 

 

 

Hey, Buddy, how do you do that with your legs?  Wow, if I tried that, it would take surgery to get me out, or a mortician.

 

And Rose.  Every year I have always carried two bear canisters so that folks who have a hard time with the weight of the dinner or cheese or Jack Daniels, they would not have to worry.  This year I started out as usual.  Guess what.  I just did not have this year my usual energy and push.

Rose saw this the first day and what does she do behind my back.  She asks everybody in the camp the first night to help me out.   So one minute I have two full canisters.  The next the canisters are almost empty.  If she & everybody had not done that, I would have had a tough time.  As it was, I was always the last person into the evening camp and into the trail head on the last day.  And guess who was always there giving me cura personalis, personal care!  Thanks so much, Rose Banzhaf. 

 

 

 

Is poor Beth trying to hide?  While I tell stories about her?

 

 

Who gives you personal care?

To whom do you give personal care?

 

 Anybody claim these derelicts?  Like Paul & Carrie, Rose & Beth & Andy,  Ray & Matt & Tom & an Old Geezer?  Looking north up Matterhorn Canyon.

 

Readings:

Daniel 12, 1-3,  The wise shall shine brightly.  

 Psalm 16,    You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Hebrews  10, 11-14, 18, Every priest stands daily at his ministry.

Mark 13, 24-32, This generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place.

 

 

 

Leo and Brandon say, "Hi, Folks, Welcome in."  Along with Mary, too.  

 

Thanksgiving History: Everyone knows about the first Thanksgiving in 1602 with the Pilgrims and the Indians eating together, the Mayflower, and Plymouth Rock.   Here are 5 facts that people do not hear about usually.

1.  When did Thanksgiving begin?  Our ancestors have celebrated end of harvest feasts of gratitude for centuries.  Lincoln first focused on a national feast; FDR established the national holiday in 1941.

2.  The pilgrims did not know they were pilgrims.  They called themselves saints, and non-saints were called strangers.  The word pilgrim came along in the 18 hundreds, 2 centuries later.  They were not even Puritans, but separatists.  They split off from the Church of England, old Henry VIII's church, and the Puritans did not split off. 

 

 

                                      "Hi, Paul & Carrie."

 

3.   The Separatists did not come to establish religious freedom.  They came for religious freedom for their religion and only their religion.  Like the Catholic Church, the Separatists demanded everyone belong to their program.  Failure to conform could result in execution, ala inquisition.

4.  The Mayflower returned to England, was torn apart, and its beams were used to build a barn in Buckinghamshire (just north of London & east of Oxford).

 

 

          "Welcome back, Miss Genevieve, Good to see you."

 

5.  How did the Indians & Separatists communicate?   The Indians were Algonquians & one of them, Squanto had actually lived in Briton some years.  He returned to his tribe and taught his friend, Samoset English.  It was Samoset who communicated with the Separatists, & the Indians taught them to raise corn, to fish, and to hunt.  In the first winter half of the 100 Separatists died before the Indians taught them how to survive.

 

 

               "Oh, Folks, Watch out.  The girl walks!"

 

Thanksgiving

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, my most favorite celebration, I would like to talk about blessings.  Excuse me for the personal focus.  It is my annual assessment.  Rosemary & I do this together more toward the end of the year, but initially I put together my own list.

I have already told you that in life I am grateful for three big blessings, my Jesuit experience, my African experience, and my marriage. 

As an aside, this Tuesday we celebrate the 26^th anniversary of the 6 Jesuits killed in the patio of their residence of their university, UCA, University of Central America, El Salvador. 

 

 

                     Zoe, our candle lighter of the week.

 

I was just back in the States from East Africa and was quite moved by these men.  I was ready to go there myself.

This year I can perceive again three big blessings, marriage, health, and my role as priest/psychotherapist.  Let me explain each of these a little.

The landscape of my marriage this year included, first of all, our Viking cruise on the Rhine River.  Just watching and listening to the river was special, but that was only the beginning.  Delightful people, quaint places, homey environment, and more.

 

 

"Hi, Georgie, Suit up time.  Just the two of us this morning."

 

Our Mondays, dancing also has been a blessing.  We even took a class Friday night in what is called West Coast Swing.  I was getting to a point that I wanted to learn a few new steps or routines, like when we used to dance a lot of years ago.  West Coast Swing we knew some from the old days, but we had forgotten a lot.  Friday was a great help.

Because of our marriage I also have the privilege of spending Thanksgiving most years with Rosemary’s sister & brother in law in Hilton Head.  I can rest and unload the pressure more there than almost anywhere else in the world.

 

 

                     Cupcake of the year to John on his birthday.

 

A final blessing connected with our marriage is just our time together.  We have breakfast together most mornings, lunch 3-5 times a week, and I just enjoy being together.  Maybe we are reading on the couch together in the evening before I check out at 9:00, to comments like, “Party Pooper.”

The second big blessing is health and, in particular, my super hips.  I have already called my hip specialist, like I do every Thanksgiving, to let him know how grateful I am and to list what I have done.

 

 

                   Cupcake of The Week to Frank on his birthday.

 

Like riding 500 miles across the beautiful, rolling hills of Iowa for a whole week.

Like riding the HHH, Hotter N’ Hell Hundred the last Saturday of August out of Wichita Falls.  Hundred like in miles and temp.

Like spending 9 nine days in Yosemite with 8 good friends, when on the 2009  hike I thought I would never be able to hike there again.

 

 

      Cupcake of The Week to John & Connie on their 29th.

 

 

Finally, I would like to mention the privilege and honor I feel in being a priest and psychotherapist.  I love doing the marriages, the memorials, and the visits, all of which Rosemary & I do together. 

And this community.  What a joy to come here each Sunday to see all of you and to watch the kids grow healthy and peaceful.

What are your 2 or 3 biggest blessings of the year that you are grateful for?  Happy Thanksgiving.

 

     

 

         Cupcake of The Week to Mary Ellen on her birthday.
           

Readings: Acts 15, 1-2, 22-29; Psalm 67, O God, let all the Nations praise You; Revelation 21, 10-23; John 14, 23-29.

Acts:  a quick summary of the facts–

Author: Luke, a "doctor," a Gentile who converted to Judaism and then became a follower of Jesus.

Date: Maybe before, but more likely after the two big dates–

70 C.E.  failure of the Jewish revolt against Rome & destruction of the temple.

88 C.E.  the Jews who were followers of Jesus leave the synagogue and go on alone.

Material: story of the early Christian communities, not totally historical.

Mother's Day: a brief history–

1.  Greece & Rome: Cybele was the mother of all gods

2.  in the U.S.

a.  Julia Ward Howe: during Civil War, ca. 1870,  as a counter to the tragedy

b.  Anna Jarvis: 1912, pushed for 2nd Sunday of May, Mother's Day, with emphasis on the apostrophe, i.e., a single mother of a family, not all mothers.  Ended up regretting the day because of commercializaiton in the 40's before she died.  Hated Hallmark Cards' canned messages instead of personal notes.

c.  President Woodrow Wilson: 1912, made it a national holiday.

Sources: Legacy Project & Wikipedia

A Mother's Day Story

A year or so after I returned from East Africa, so around '88 or '89, my mom had to go into the hospital for some minor treatment.  She was living at home and I was living at Jesuit, though I went to visit her every day. 

On this particular day I was driving her west on LBJ from Preston to go to what was called at that time, Deadman Medical Center.  It is on LBJ between Marsh Lane & Webb Chapel.

As we ride along she reaches over with her left hand, pats me on the right leg, and says, "I'm proud of you."

Wow!  That blew me away.  I was really touched inside.  Here I am just back from about 10 years in East Africa.  I've been a Jesuit by then 30 years, more or less.  And my mom's affirmation still meant so much. 

Two events happened in that car.  One, my mother used words to affirm me.  Secondly, she touched me in a tender, affirming way.  The result: inner peace, just what is mentioned in today's gospel, the gift, ultmate gift.

If you are like I was when I grew up, I did not have enough positive stroking and certainly I lacked touch. 

You mothers, daughters, married, singles, all of you.  You got the gift.  You can bring peace with two simple acts, a word and a touch.

With whom and how many times a day do you share your gift?   

Picture 1:  3 of the 8 men who all gathered to bless the foreheads of all the female members of the community as our entrance rite, Tony Bob, & Richard 

Picture 2:  Fred blessing Rosemary's forehead with blessed ointment

Picture 3:  Jeff Morrow & Bob McGrath blessing the foreheads of the female members of the community in their section

Picture 4:  Cole receiving his first communion with his mom, Gail

Picture 5:  Shelby receiving her first communion from her mom, Debbie